tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33238777256429900112024-02-18T21:30:00.412-05:00It’s a wonderful lifeKirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.comBlogger608125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-21064913709960768132014-10-06T19:57:00.001-04:002014-10-06T19:57:13.650-04:00Cameron turns 2<div>At this time I am sitting on an airplane (Which is why I have time to write :-) headed to my favorite place in the world with my favorite people in the world. It's an extra special day because it is my sweet sweet Cameron's second birthday.</div><div><br></div><div> He is an angel sent to us through some very special people. I will never ever ever forget the uncountable amount of details that god was in charge of to bring us together. Our coming together was hands down the biggest surprise of our life. To find out one morning that you not only have a chance at a baby but that the baby has Down syndrome and a severe heart defect. It was a lot to take on but I knew, just knew from that first phone call that he was my son. </div><div><br></div><div>I also knew it was no coincidence that this special boy was born in October. October is Down syndrome awareness month. I am not your typical Down syndrome mom. You aren't going to hear me say the words "this is so hard" very often. Because I have dealt with infertility and having a child with SMA (essentially a death sentance) so to me Cameron just has Down syndrome. It isn't a scary thing, and never has been. Sure there are lots of questions that come up that may not have immediate answers and there are difficult aspects to his situation, but there is no reason to expect that my Cameron won't excel in life. </div><div><br></div><div>And excel he does! Cameron is the most pleasant child you will ever meet. He loves music and dancing any chance he gets. I can already communicate with him. He adores his siblings, is so close to walking, and calls me mom. None of these gifts came without a lot of hard work from everyone in Cameron's life. I am so proud of him and I love him dearly. </div><div>Happy birthday Cameron!!!!</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR7GIXfLMRQlYvk9LcYcc52RmUQCmIgRXu2YV88m7CmS3IeS3xSrOt0DHeyR1hjJyXbRhh7omzlM19evOyU5AipJ_FRpa3x7ie8R3eRgWP1udn6k2UXlIZACgs0MHpv1pX4jr72AspQ7w/s640/blogger-image--268358017.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR7GIXfLMRQlYvk9LcYcc52RmUQCmIgRXu2YV88m7CmS3IeS3xSrOt0DHeyR1hjJyXbRhh7omzlM19evOyU5AipJ_FRpa3x7ie8R3eRgWP1udn6k2UXlIZACgs0MHpv1pX4jr72AspQ7w/s640/blogger-image--268358017.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div><br></div>Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-80060969167786791982014-09-11T18:02:00.001-04:002014-10-14T00:08:05.374-04:00My birth story<div>I finally did it. I finished my birth story. I recorded shortly after Piper's birth and have been slowly writing it since. Finally I am done and ready to share my own personal miracle with the world.</div><div><br></div>A dream of mine came true when I gave birth to our daughter. <br>
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I still can't believe that I can say those words. I gave birth. I have a daughter. <br>
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My whole life I had always said that if I were able to give birth I would want the experience to be as natural an experience as possible. I knew this particular experience was going to be my one and only labor and delivery and I so desperately wanted to be able to be an active participant and feel my baby in the birth canal, crowing, and eventually the birth of her little body. I didn't want the chance of her going into distress because of unnatural contractions. I wanted her to have the best chance at successful breastfeeding. At the same time I am not opposed to interventions if they are needed BUT I wanted to play an active role in determining IF they were needed and not just routine. I was so happy that Justin and I took a birthing class because I ended up needing the information they taught us to be able to argue my case with the hospital staff to go against policy to get what I wanted. <br>
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I was 41 weeks pregnant on April 24. At my doctors appointment we discussed my going into the hospital on April 27 to be induced. I knew I could argue my way into waiting but there was something inside of me that said it was a good thing to pursue induction options. <br>
<br>So at 10 days overdue I kissed my boys goodbye, grabbed the hospital bag (just incase) and made the 2 minute drive to the hospital. Justin so desperately wanted to speed through the neighborhood, but I wouldn't let him because I wasn't actually in labor. <br>
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It felt so surreal walking, ok I was waddling, through the halls of the hospital. I kept crying. I was coming to this place to have my baby. We were about to become a family of 6 and I was going to do the work to bring this little life (boy or girl) into the world. My pregnancy was over and I was going to finally know what it was like to give birth. Essentially my labor and delivery experience had begun. I mourned the ending of a miraculous pregnancy and looked forward to the miracle of giving birth. <br>
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We walked to the main desk at the maternity clinic to be checked in. A doctor walked past, took one look at how big I was and said. "Have you come today to add a new tax payer to the system?" I laughed but it really was something incredible thing to think about. My body was going to give birth to a baby, a real baby who will grow and hopefully contribute positively to society. <br>
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They put us in triage next to check the baby and discuss "the plan". The tears continued as a direct result of my excitement and nerves. Our baby was perfect! So far everything was going as planned, until the doctor walked in. Because of my appointment on thursday I had in my head that we would insert the balloon so imagine my surprise when the Doctor walked in and said, "ok you are going to have a baby today. Lets break your water and start you on pitocin" I kind of freaked out a little bit in my mind and asked about using the foley ballooon to help me dilate. The doctor was quite blunt and a little harsh. I feel like she didn't even listen to my wishes as I she shut me down immediately and said that my cervix was too ripe use the balloon. She then continued with the words I was dreading to hear. "Lets just get this show on the road." I asked if we could try breaking my water and letting me walk to try and help my body go into labor. She told me that it typically doesn't work like that for a first time birther and we were going to just go ahead break my water and start me on pitocin to get the ball rolling. I asked for some time to talk to Justin about it. When she left the room I started crying. The nurse came back in and I spoke with her and asked her if it wasn't unreasonable to at least let me try to go into labor after breaking my water. I would rather not just assume that my body wouldn't do it. The baby was doing well and I'd wanted at least to have the chance to try a more natural approach before using medicine. We decided together that I would request a 2 hour time frame following the breaking of my water and if I had not gone into labor on my own then we would start the pitocin. The nurse argued for me with the doctor who compromised and allowed me to have an hour after breaking my water. I was a little upset because I didn't feel like that was enough time to actually kick start my body but at least it was some time. I planned on doing my lunges down the hall, walk the stairs, anything that would bring my baby further down. <br>
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So I was then checked into my room, where a new nurse sent us for lunch and told us to come back in an hour. What I realized later is that she was trying to buy us more time. She hustled us down the hall, checked the corners and literally broke us out of the unit. I am actually really glad that she did because I hadn't brought any food with me. It was nice to be able to eat something hearty that I knew would help give me the strength that I needed to do what I needed to do. We ate quickly and made our way to the stair well. I planned on lunging the stairs for the rest of the hour but on the third floor we heard an announcement go through the whole hospital paging us back to the unit. BUSTED! The doctor was not thrilled with the "misunderstanding" but I was happy to have had more time to at least TRY and get myself into labor. <br>
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When I got back to my room I got undressed and the doctor broke my water. There was meconium in the water, which is not un-common for babies who are over due but it did mean that I was going to require closer monitering. What I didn't know was that they intended on continuously monitering the baby. It shouldn't have affected my walking except that they could not get a good read on the baby and I was being kept in or next to the bed not moving, and watching my hour time frame tick away. I was NOT a happy girl. In fact I was angry. I consider myself to be a fairly reasonable person. I was choosing to have my baby in the hospital for a reason and all I asked for was the use of some of the natural birthing methods that I highly value. Up to this point I had gotten zero of what I wanted. <br>
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Of course I respond to any extreme emotion (happy, sad, excited, angry...) with crying. I was sitting there bouncing on my ball angry and crying. Thats when the doctor walked in and noticed just how unhappy I was. She was also really surprised that I wasn't walking. I informed her why I was so upset and that they wouldn't let me walk because they kept losing their read on the baby. What our doctor said next surprised me. She let me know that the continuous monitering was a nursing policy, not a hospital policy. She felt that the baby was just fine and that as long as I agreed to come back every 20 minutes for monitering with the doppler that I could walk as much as I liked. If I had known that it was a nursing policy I would have argued a little more and probably asked for the doctor sooner. <br>
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I still find it so interesting that in the beginning the nursing staff was arguing with the doctor on my behalf and then later the doctor argued with the nursing staff on my behalf. I know that is because I went in knowing exactly how I wanted things to go. I felt confident standing up for myself and taking charge of my own delievery. <br>
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I got walking with Justin and my mom by my side. I would have a random contraction but nothing very strong and not regular at all. I was not given any extra time and most of it was wasted lying in the bed, so I feel like my body wasn't given a fair chance to start labor on its own. I tried to stretch my time as long as I possibly could but they came and found me in the hall and I knew I couldn't fight them any longer on my time. <br>
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When I came back it was time to start the pitocin. Before I let them begin I asked them what their policy was on using the medication. They explained that they start me on 3ml an hour, evaluate me every 30min. and if me and the baby are tolerating everything well they turn it up. I asked them if it was necessary to turn the medication up if my body was progressing on its own. She responded with "Well, once we get started we like to keep things going." I repeated myself and asked that they not turn it up IF I was progressing on my own. After a bit of a fight I got them to agree that they would not turn up the medication without cause or without discussing it with me first. My body was started on the minimum amount of pitocin, I got walking, and things got going. They actually only turned me up once and in the end turned the medication completely off, which is virtually unheard of. I really believe that they turned the medication off because they could see that my body really had taken over and they knew my wishes to have as natural a labor and delivery as possible. <br>
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Earlier in the day my nurse went on break and Irena covered for her. Irena was incredible. We ran into her while we were walking and I asked her if there was any way that she could be assigned to us. I really wanted to go through this experience with her. She said that she would also like to work with us and did end up being my full time nurse, which I was more grateful for than I can say. While things were still in the early labor stage Irena asked me why it was so important to me to have a natural labor and delivery. I gave her my reasons and those were the things that she would chant back to me when it got really hard. She would remind me why I had chosen that natural path. She was an incredible coach and I really leaned on her during the whole experience. <br>
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Around the 4th turn of the unit I decided I was done walking. I came back to the room and things kept progressing. Early labor was fine. Contractions were painful but bearable. Active labor was harder but still fairly managable. And then there was hard labor. Hard labor is really really hard. I was not a happy person during hard labor. It was during this time that I started to doubt myself. I wasn't sure that I would be able to do it. This was when Irena reminded me that I didn't want the baby to have any drugs in its system so that they would have the best chance to establish breast feeding. I knew that with epidurals your chances of interventions are higher, and there are potential negative side effects I was hoping to avoid. She also reminded me that this was going to be my only birthing experience and I had a deep desire to feel my baby coming out of my body. I wanted to be a very active participant in the pushing and be able to push effectively. Irena was such an amazing coach and I will be forever grateful that she worked the day that I had my baby. <br>
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In fact I will tell you that the only reason I was able to get through what I did was because of my mom and Irena. My mom was a rock through the whole experience. Before going into labor I knew that I wanted my mom there and that she would be a great support, but I figured Justin would be my main source of strength. I was very surprised when that wasn't the case. I definitely wanted him there with me. I wanted him close. I wanted him around, but it was my mom who kept me grounded, my mom who kept me focused. I don't know what I would have done without my mom. During hard labor I was aware of Justin's prescence but I needed my mom. <br>
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During hard labor I was having a lot of back labor and my contractions were piggy-backing on top of each other. I was also contracting from my chest to my knees. I was pretty miserable at this point. They had me up on my knees swaying trying to keep things going. I was in pretty bad shape. At that point Irena checked me and I was only dilated to a 4-5cm. I was so discouraged. I had come into the hospital dilated to a 1-2cm which meant that the whole time i was there I had only dilated another 2-3cm. I thought that there was no way that I would be able to do another 6 hours of that while waiting for my body to dilate. I felt defeated. It was then that I saw Irena lean into my mom and whisper something to her. I didn't really hear what she said but I knew what she had said when I heard my mom's response. She had asked my mom if I would want an epidural at all. My mom said "no, that is the one thing that she is adament against." I will be forever grateful that she asked my mom and not me because in that moment I may have considered it. It would have been heartbreaking if I had gotten it because only 50 minutes after this I was pushing. It was so painful at that point and in less than an hour my body did the rest of the work so quickly. All the stepping stones for pushing were in place I just needed to finish dilating. <br>
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Before pushing things started to get really bad. The doctor was in the room and something felt very different. I noticibly reacted to this change and the doctor stopped what she was doing and asked me what happened and asked if I felt that I needed to push. I told her that I didn't know but it was a very different feeling than I had had before. She told me that if I felt like i needed to push on the next contraction to go ahead and do that. The next contraction came and it was undeniable ... I needed to push. I started screaming "I need to push I need to push" and the staff very calmly reminded me that I could go ahead and do that. I remember that during that push was a gush of fluid. At the same moment as I was pushing I heard someone yell in the hall, "quick go get some towels, the baby is coming". I thought to myself in that moment "isn't that nice someone gets to have their baby, I wish I could have my baby right now." When that contraction was over they asked me to turn around so they could examine me. I remember wondering why they were even bothering, I was probably only dilated to a 6. There was no way that I had dilated that much in less than an hour. I also remember turning around to see the whole room had changed. There was a spotlight at the end of the bed, the bottom half of the bed had been removed, the doctor was gowned, and there was a bassinet at the end of the room. As worried as I was that I wasn't going to be ready and I would disappoint everyone I also had the thought that maybe those voices in the hall were talking about my baby. Maybe I would get to have my baby soon, just maybe this was happening. Sure enough they checked me and everything was ready to go and it was now time for me to push. <br>
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I surprised myself. I thought I would want to squat during the pushing stage but I actually felt very very comfortable laying down on my back and wanted to stay there. I really enjoyed the pushing stage. Finally I was able to do something about the pain I was feeling. I was able to be an active participant rather than trying to relax my body through each contraction. I actually felt some relief between the contractions. I could feel everything and I am so grateful for that. I had requested for the mirror to be at the end of my bed so I could watch what was happening. I wasn't able to watch while I was pushing but during those blessed breaks I would just focus on the physical changes that were happening to me, Justin's face at the end of the bed, and the words of encouragement my mom was chanting in my ear. Oh I will never forget Justin's face during the pushing stage. I have seen that look of excitement on his face exactly 4 times before. Immediately before we walked into the temple to be married, and driving to each of the boys placements into our family.<br>
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I pushed for 23 minutes and my world changed forever. I had wanted to feel my baby's head while she was coming. Our wonderful doctor had me reach down twice to feel my baby come out of me. It was such encouragement for me to feel and see my baby in the last moments that my body and hers were one. I felt like the baby's head popped out of me and immediately the pain was gone. Everything I had been feeling since my contractions had began was gone. I was under the impression that her body immediately slithered out but in real time it was a couple of minutes and I had to push her shoulders through, though I don't remember that either. The doctor announced we had a baby girl and the whole room cheered. I actually didn't hear the cheer until I watched the birth video. I believe that I was in complete shock that I had just had a baby. <i>I had a baby</i>, and that baby was a girl. I still have a hard time believing it all but then I see this sweet baby girl squealing in my arms and its like I am living a dream. <br>
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They placed my new baby girl on my chest immediately and snuggled and cried tears of joy while we waited for the last of her cord blood to pump into her body. I got to reach down and feel that blood pump from me through her cord and into her tiny fresh body. Justin cut Piper's cord and Irena lifted Piper's small silky body up so I could really see her face. Piper was born so alert. Other than her newborn soft skin the first thing that I noticed were her giant almond eyes. She was so tiny, which surprised me because I was overdue and both Justin and I were bigger babies. The doctor said that this was due to her umbilical chord growing on the side of my placenta instead of the middle. The hospital then allowed me the full hour of skin to skin and breastfeeding time I had requested before measuring her and doing her initial exams. <br>
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Piper breastfed like a champ and I was in love once again with an activity I never thought I would be able to experience. <div><br></div><div>As I ponder the events that took place around pipers birth I feel happiness and disbelief. Still to this day I feel honored and blessed to have been given the chance to know first hand both the joy of adoption and wonders of giving birth. I am now the mother to 3 beautiful boys and a princess. I couldn't be luckier!<br>
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<br></div>Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-77891642980415884842014-09-03T02:40:00.001-04:002014-09-03T02:40:03.106-04:00Life and deathToday I turned 32. That is weird for me to say out loud because it sounds so old now. I swear in my head I've never felt like I was a day past 20, but the faint lines on my face and my grey hair underneath the dye speak the truth. <div><br></div><div>In all honesty today was not my best birthday. In so many ways it was kindve sad. I said goodbye to my boys for their first day of school. I played taxi and spent all day in my car. And then I was told some very sad news. A friend of mine had a child pass away yesterday. It doesn't matter that her son was an adult or that his death was relatively unexpected. Your child is your child always and forever. My heart aches for her and I shed many tears and said many prayers for her today. Thomas' death hit home in a personal way for me. </div><div><br></div><div>Thomas had muscular dystrophy. His family has been one that we look to so we can see our potential future with Evan. His death is the realization of my biggest fear, Losing my children. Though our family celebrates life, having children with special needs makes the fear of losing a child a constant companion in the darkest corners of your thoughts. When this fear becomes a reality to any of those I know and love it makes my own fear rear it's ugly head for a while. </div><div><br></div><div>Today I get to turn another year older while others don't have that chance. So I choose to celebrate the lines that are beginning to show on my face. I will rejoice every time my silver roots grow a little too long and I will try my hardest to live each of my days to their fullest. I will love my little life because it is mine. I may not always live gracefully and some days will be worse than others but I will live. </div><div><br></div><div>My boys took me to sushi, and some good friends surprise kidnapped me for appis and dessert. Now I get to end my 32nd birthday in the best possible way by kissing each of my four sleeping littles goodnight, snuggling up to my snoring love, and praising God for their health and beautiful life that I get to be a part of. </div>Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-44325721899680711912014-08-21T01:44:00.001-04:002014-08-21T01:53:08.355-04:00EatingWe eat for all kinds of reasons. Whether it is a social activity or for survival eating is essential to life. <div><br></div><div>If you know us at all you know that eating has been one of our biggest hurdles with Evan. This year has truly been a year of growth for him and us. In fact talking about it is hard for me, not because I don't want to talk about it but because it is so complex an issue. </div><div><br></div><div>For the first month or so of this journey I talked with a counselor at the hospital almost daily because I was having such a hard time with everything. I was really looking forward to summer and having Evan with me full time again so I could hopefully discover more strategies and get Evan to develop acceptable innate eating habits that he has fought so hard against. </div><div><br></div><div>Evan had an appointment with his dietician this week. It was the first appointment with the dietician that I didn't go into crying and walk out crying. In fact I am really happy with the place we have come to. We still have improvements to make but baby steps in a positive direction is enough to keep this mama happy. </div><div><br></div><div>Now that summer is drawing to a close I would be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous. I hate that Evans school keeps him away all day as it is but now I have to let him leave and pray that the progress we have made in regards to eating will continue without me there. </div><div><br></div><div>I am going to just hold on to the fact that, for now, I am doing a good job, and that for now things are improving. </div><div><br></div><div>Great job Evan! He was pretty proud of himself for gaining weight. </div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRE0AoezKICwdMkL29BKgQC7nRdCuYDcT6N-5jXEDhjrkt1AvNaSmP6wFF6kbPaeRT-pCUxlE6apLux7nZQn9Vy_M36at8pib0SM6oLQrQgfRr0B1plhWITNP2FHzzUeJTcNGJx0yN460/s640/blogger-image-2091315342.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRE0AoezKICwdMkL29BKgQC7nRdCuYDcT6N-5jXEDhjrkt1AvNaSmP6wFF6kbPaeRT-pCUxlE6apLux7nZQn9Vy_M36at8pib0SM6oLQrQgfRr0B1plhWITNP2FHzzUeJTcNGJx0yN460/s640/blogger-image-2091315342.jpg"></a></div>Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-90153912587499936652014-08-17T01:35:00.001-04:002014-08-17T01:47:28.610-04:00I love my kids so much that sometimes my heart actually hurts. I don't know any other way of saying it. Don't get me wrong there are definitely some times that I don't like them very much and then they will do something wonderful and all is forgiven again.<div><br></div><div>This morning I got to see Landon race in a kids spartan race. I was that loud and proud mama taking pictures from the sideline. I watched him run and complete obstacles with so much determination I cried. Literally I stood there on the sidelines crying. (I've always been a sap and I wear my mommy tears proudly!) </div><div><br></div><div>It made my whole day to have him run up to me afterwards screaming with so much pride and excitement that he had placed 3rd in his age group. </div><div><br></div><div>That enthusiasm is so much a part of him. Whether he is angry, happy, or sad he is enthusiastic about it. When that kid is joyful you want to be around to get just a little taste of the sunshine he exudes. </div><div><br></div><div><br></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHjGmEj9D4rwjIiHDvL_RiZGjFP9ObDReFgeceMjU3frrlPBN8JE2jzUMKSEep5mLSIt_n7oke2sG3rdeqkfoBBCWLB7GR3Phv5fmTr-F47bKBAxdUQuB7p7ukm0doRBabbc-wY5SILlc/s640/blogger-image--1511704868.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHjGmEj9D4rwjIiHDvL_RiZGjFP9ObDReFgeceMjU3frrlPBN8JE2jzUMKSEep5mLSIt_n7oke2sG3rdeqkfoBBCWLB7GR3Phv5fmTr-F47bKBAxdUQuB7p7ukm0doRBabbc-wY5SILlc/s640/blogger-image--1511704868.jpg"></a></div>Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-30980522550268093512014-08-15T01:39:00.001-04:002014-08-15T01:39:27.738-04:00I don't want to miss thisMost days lately end in exhaustion for me, but I am sitting in a hotel room tonight surrounded by the snores of my babies and I don't want to miss anything. Now that I know our family is complete I feel like time has sped up. I feel like I can't keep a hold on any of my kids and each one is growing up faster than I want them to. I don't want to miss this time when they are little and I am going to make the effort to at least write something every night so I can remember my life as it is, right now, in all the crazy beautiful chaos that surrounds me. So here is to resolutions and striving to keep them. I am not a writer but I am honored to try and keep up with my story.Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-65090118835812763102014-07-16T02:12:00.000-04:002014-07-16T02:12:08.025-04:00My baby is 7!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Seven years ago a young girl changed my life forever. She gave birth to a perfect baby boy and made me a mother. I will never forget the moment we met our child. I will never forget the moment he was placed in our arms forever. </div>
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Evan's tummy mommy is a woman of courage and she has passed that courage on to her child. He has so many challenges in his life and he has met them with all the courage in the world. Evan is funny, witty, kind, and polite. I'm in love with his long blond hair, which he requested to grow out. Evan is very musically inclined and loves to sing. He sings to himself in the car. This year has been tricky and I am hoping that the next will be a little easier this coming school year. Evan makes me laugh daily and I stand in constant awe of him. </div>
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Happy Birthday Evan! Happy Birthday my beautiful boy! You are my life! </div>
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<br />Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-676954026147220662014-04-27T01:58:00.001-04:002014-04-27T01:58:36.896-04:00ReflectionI am feeling very mixed feelings right now. Even though I know that it is common for first time pregnancies to go past their due date I still can't help but feel a slight disappointment at going past that date the doctors gave me. I am big, very few of my clothes fit, I am in constant pain, I am exhausted all the time, my heartburn is out of hand, and sometimes I literally can't move. So it might be surprising when I say that each of these 9 days past my due date have been such a gift. <br />
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I know that I am going to miss this experience so much. I've felt so grateful to have this adventure. I rub my belly all the time, trying to guess which body part I am caressing. Lately, the evenings have been my favorite time of day because the baby is so active. My stomach moves in waves and I just sit and stare at the wonder that my body has created. The movements are powerful and I am desperate to remember how it feels to have this baby inside of me. <br />
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I stand in front of the mirror and stare at myself trying desperately to burn the image of my pregnant body into my memory. It is still something so surreal and beautiful for me to see and I know that the second I give birth to this miracle that image will be gone. I am proud of the 50 pounds I have gained . I am proud of the ability my body has to change according to the needs of my growing baby. <br />
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I am now 9 days over due. If this baby doesn't make its arrival before 10AM tomorrow morning it is to the hospital for me. It has been a highly emotional day for me. Knowing that these are the last hours that I will have this baby inside of me makes me really sad, and yet I am SO excited to meet this little one. I can't wait to know if I will be holding a little boy or a little girl in my arms.<br />
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Ultimately I have to say that I am unbelievably grateful for this experience. The pregnancy hasn't been the easiest or the most difficult I have ever heard of, but it has been my experience. I treasure every moment I have experienced, good and bad. It has all been worth it to be able to have this opportunity to bring this little life into the world. I very much look forward to what tomorrow will bring. <br />
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Wish me luck. <br />
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Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-71209211475955660372014-04-02T00:21:00.000-04:002014-04-02T00:21:01.257-04:00Growing Pains<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Meet Evan. Evan has Spinal Muscular Atrophy. This disease poses many challenges to say the least. At the beginning of the journey the learning curve is huge, and then it gets easier as most of the "routine" or the daily concerns become second nature. The challenges don't disappear, but they just become a part of your every day life. Life seems normal until a new challenge rears its ugly head and you feel like you are back to square one. <br />
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Right now I am back to square one and to be honest I don't know how well I am handling this current test. Evan has never been a natural eater. Since he developed a mind of his own he has fought food. The problem is that medically he is not supposed to go more than 3-4 hours without eating something. Evan's deteriorating muscles need the constant energy that the food provides and it is vital that his body gets the nourishment.<br />
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Evan had basically gotten to the point that he would not even really take a bite unless he was told to several times. Meal times were brutal! When he was sick he wouldn't even do that and he would go on a food strike, which is why we ultimately made the decision to give him a feeding tube. We felt better knowing that we had a back up plan for those scary times. We also felt he would have more energy to make it through school if he was being supplementally fed while he slept. <br />
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The feeding tube changed so much!!!! Evan was starting to grow better, he had more energy at school, and he was all over handling his busier schedule better. Life seemed to be improving by leaps and bounds. <br />
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Then Evan had a bad week. It was a week that his school was short on EA's and there wasn't anyone there at lunch to remind him to eat or drink. He didn't eat anything at school and totally broke down. He was so affected and it continued for a couple of days. I realized that we still had a problem. After a phone call to a good friend (another SMA mommy), and too many tears to count I knew we needed to make a yet another change. <br />
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Our goal is always for our children to be as independent as they are able to be. For years food has been the only thing that Evan was able to 100% control in his life and he was going to continue that, even if it meant battling for it. After talking to the food specialists at the hospital we have formulated a plan that in my gut I know is the right move, but just might kill me in the process. As was pointed out to me, Evan had never been allowed to feel the effects of hunger. I would never let him get to that point because of the fact that he has SMA. <br />
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In a small nutshell, Evan is now 100% in charge of his eating. Essentially we treat him almost like every other kid in the world and if he chooses not to eat in the time frame he has been given he is supposed to feel those negative effects of hunger. We will supplement through the evening as needed, and he needs to follow his rules or there are consequences, but we are to be careful giving negative and positive feed back. <br />
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Evan is a very very smart kid and knows what he is supposed to do, but he is being very stubborn through this process. I cry multiple times daily. The hardest part is watching your child make choices that hurt him, and could potentially hurt him in very severe ways, all the while knowing that he needs to go through the process to become his best self. I am glad that I have the support of the specialists at the hospital, friends, and my faith but it is still really hard. I'm not sure I like growing pains. Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-44430789488146308122014-03-21T15:18:00.001-04:002014-03-21T15:18:20.224-04:00Happy Down Syndrome awareness dayIt is Down Syndrome awareness day and I feel it only appropriate to pay a little tribute to a special man in my life. Cameron's <a href="http://blindpiratedate.blogspot.ca/2012/10/introducing.html" target="_blank">birth</a> and journey to our family was a very special one filled with miracles. I call him my perfect child because so far, that is exactly what he has been. Even with all of his medical issues (and there were a lot!) Cameron was hands down my easiest baby. Cameron has a fighting spirit. He blew us all away with his strength through his heart surgery and other tests along the way and since. <br />
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Since getting a little older his personality has started to develop. He knows what he wants and doesn't want but does not yet have the language to express it so we work on that daily. He has worked very hard on his mobility. He can't traditional crawl but he army crawls like a champion, sits, and pulls up to his knees beautifully. His team of early intervention workers is amazing and really care about him and his ability to succeed. <br />
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Cameron exudes love! He is a cuddle ball and happy all the time. I love watching him play with his brothers and he thinks it is pretty darn awesome when they spend time with him. His face always lights up even more when he is around them, but he is %100 a Mama's boy. I am his favorite person on the planet! This makes me so happy because the other two would prefer Dad to me. I get it too. Justin is fun fun fun all the time, he isn't the main disciplinarian because he is at work during the day and he lets them play video games with him on Saturday mornings. Who wouldn't prefer hanging<br />
out with someone that fun? Don't get me wrong they will always choose me when they are sick or hurt, but as far as every day stuff they want their Dad, but not my Cameron boy. He doesn't even care what we are doing he just wants to be with me and I LOVE IT! <br />
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This beautiful child, who happens to have Down Syndrome has changed our life for good and not one of us could imagine life without him. <br />
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Happy Down Syndrome awareness day!!!</div>
Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-33060763125751662382014-03-12T13:58:00.000-04:002014-03-12T13:58:14.146-04:00pregnancy<br />
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I know this is not a surprise to anyone who has been pregnant or been around someone who is pregnant, but growing a person is hard. There have been some unexpected ups and downs. How any pregnant woman continues to exercise, let alone walk is beyond me. It takes all my will not to waddle in public. The waddle, I have found, isn't because I have lost my center of gravity but because of constant pain in multiple parts of my body that you can't do anything about. There are so many other things too, severe heart burn, dizzy spells, insomnia, too frequent urination, severe constipation, and the fact that anytime I sneeze I pee my pants are all little unwelcomed gifts from this growing person inside me. </div>
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AND THEN I FEEL THE BABY MOVE.</div>
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When this life inside me moves (and it does often) I feel the heavens open. I can't believe that God has given me the gift of creating a life. I get to carry a baby. It's almost like my personal secret. I go through the day literally having personal conversations with this new baby. The little one inside of me will rock, kick, or roll and I reach down and caress them back. We are in our own little world that often times others around aren't even aware of. It is a dream come true. These experiences bring a new aspect to my relationship and thoughts of my other children as well. I am now able to imagine them having the same experience with their tummy mommy's and how special that time was for them to have with these beautiful babies. I always knew it in my mind, but now I can physically imagine it. </div>
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My body has changed so much. It is pretty incredible to see and I will sometimes walk by a mirror and be surprised at how big I am. I was looking through pictures of a beach day we had last year and could hardly believe the difference between myself then and myself now. My weight gain doesn't bother me. I know that I am changing to give this baby the best chance at a healthy life and I love that I get to play such an active part in taking care of this life already. </div>
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We are all so excited for this baby to join our family. It is funny to see the boys reactions day to day about it. Evan is excited, but I think at this point its kind've old news for him. I feel bad because I think this is in part because he is in school all day and because he is in a wheelchair. He is gone a lot of the day so he doesn't have as many chances at feeling the baby move inside of me and when he is home it is hard to get him into a position quick enough that he could feel it. During church this week we were having some cuddle time and the baby was moving like crazy. It kept kicking Evan and for the first time Evan seemed totally into it all. I am so grateful that he got to have that experience. Landon is by far the most excited one in the family. He was asking every single day how long until Easter (because he knows that's when the baby is due). I finally made him a calendar so he can now mark off everyday and see for himself when the baby might come. Cameron has zero idea that he is going to be a big brother in 5 1/2 weeks. As for Justin and I we are trying to soak up every last bit of this pregnancy, good and bad. We know this is it for our family, which makes me sad. Still I mostly just feel an overwhelming love for my Heavenly Father and the path that he laid out for me. It isn't always an easy road, but it is my road and I am so grateful for the journey thus far. </div>
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<br />Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-72951757804343131202014-01-30T20:11:00.000-05:002014-01-30T20:11:01.923-05:00family timeOur Christmas vacation was a beautiful whirlwind full of emotions! Since, as always I am so late getting this out, I am going to touch on the highlights of the vacation. <br />
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I love Christmas! I am one of those die hard, sappy, emotional about everything Christmas people. I love the decorations, I love the food, I love the sugar, I love the presents, but by far the thing that I love the most is the family-time that Christmas brings. The kids are on school break. My handsome hubby is on vacation from work. Extended family sacrifices and flies to one place just to be together. I love it!!! I would give up the decorations, food, and everything else just to have those moments with my family. <br />
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I adore watching my kids interact with their aunties, uncles, and grandparents. They relish in the time that they get to spend with these special people in their lives. They talk about them when we are away from them. <br />
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By far the best part about my break this year was spending time with my sisters. They each chose to stay in the house, which meant that I got to spend time with them and their fabulous husbands. I didn't have the opportunity growing up to spend a whole lot of time with them. I am so much older than both of them that by the time I left for college they were still pretty young. It was (and is always) so fun to stay up late together, cuddle on the couch, sunbathe in the yard or at the beach, do each others nails... I just love them, and I feel like every time I get to see them we just get closer. <br />
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Now since I usually have 1-2 kids on my hips I don't get to take a whole lot of great pictures. Thankfully Alycia DOES take lots of pictures and I swiped some of hers! Thanks Alycia!!!<br />
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Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-48518208655389860472014-01-09T13:13:00.001-05:002014-01-09T13:13:27.457-05:00Evan's surgery<div style="text-align: center;">
I had written this before we left on our Christmas vacation and just never got it posted.</div>
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(don't know how I missed that one!) Anyway, here is how our surgical experience went down.</div>
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Evan has never been a big eater and I have dreaded and stressed over every calorie his tiny little body has consumed in the last 5 years or so. After about a year of research and stress we made the decision that Evan should have a feeding tube. He will be required to continue to follow all of his "food rules" and we will be supplementing his feeding at night while he is sleeping. <br />
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When we first made the decision he was quite distressed by it, and eventually he just became resigned to it. I know he wasn't thrilled, but he knew it had to happen so he didn't fight it anymore. We are hoping to accomplish a couple things with this new adventure. <br />
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1)We hope that Evan will start to grow better than he has in the past.<br />
2)We hope that the night time feedings will boost his energy during the day.<br />
3)We now have a back up plan for feeding when Evan is sick and goes on a food strike. <br />
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The surgery was the first one of the day so we left our house at 5:30AM. Having that time alone with Justin and Evan was such a beautiful thing for me. I needed Justin's strength to hold it together (I don't like knowing that my baby is going to feel pain) and I just needed to hold my Evan as much as I could.<br />
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By the day of surgery Evan wasn't as afraid of the procedure because he had decided that he would be able to stay awake. He told the anesthesiologist that he was going to have a competition with him and didn't think that he would be able to get him to go to sleep. (hint: Evan lost that competition, but scored points for effort).<br />
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They let me take Evan back to the operation room. I laid him on the operation table and started to sing him to sleep. Evan was true to his word and he did put up a fight. I held one hand and a nurse held his other hand. As I was coming to the conclusion of the second verse Evan took his hand away from the nurse and reached up, touching my face as he peacefully went to sleep. I hardly finished the song because I was crying and I left my angel in the care of his doctors. <br />
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Thankfully the surgery wasn't very long and after an hour we received word that everything had gone text book perfect. We saw him a half an hour after that. Watching him try to recover from the anesthesia was brutal for this parent to watch. He was in a ton of pain and nothing really settled him. Finally they were able to get his pain under control and he started to come to his senses.<br />
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It took a while to get a room, but we didn't have to go to ICU which is what the original plan was. We stayed in the hospital for 3 days and came home. Evan gets better every day and is now even showing an interest in doing his own care for the surgical sites. I know this was just a minor surgery, but it is still surgery and I am so grateful that Evan came out of it alright. We look forward to the exciting prospects that this tube might offer to help Evan through his day to day. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">it was a long day for all of us ... and yes, Justin is actually sleeping!!!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe-DXvP4O___HZH9s4Slyum_ncLTBA0lB_Zl-ZL2xlV0x2gosU2dAb949BYvZZRXcwGrB9LOBgYW0mZGo4Aeh4ldun1YcC2szvYk_pamA4TjsqgbpDBSxdiXbAi9iA2Rss5Z_v5t_-I5A/s1600/IMG_9457.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe-DXvP4O___HZH9s4Slyum_ncLTBA0lB_Zl-ZL2xlV0x2gosU2dAb949BYvZZRXcwGrB9LOBgYW0mZGo4Aeh4ldun1YcC2szvYk_pamA4TjsqgbpDBSxdiXbAi9iA2Rss5Z_v5t_-I5A/s400/IMG_9457.JPG" height="400" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">after a whole day of fasting Evan finally gets to have a popsicle!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJrWMwbD5Qd9Ysy_VhTcG6yL8XVWJTaUJy1D6cXSZ5hDozAjc0vCkT4RI3FgOYlZKw8T5LSK-LJQfppWYTaVYWcMIJ6xPwH22crVPq7oyIR_WIVt8NGC19BSARZpwTYVtdUTwbobFng2M/s1600/IMG_9460.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJrWMwbD5Qd9Ysy_VhTcG6yL8XVWJTaUJy1D6cXSZ5hDozAjc0vCkT4RI3FgOYlZKw8T5LSK-LJQfppWYTaVYWcMIJ6xPwH22crVPq7oyIR_WIVt8NGC19BSARZpwTYVtdUTwbobFng2M/s400/IMG_9460.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Home Depot came and did a project with the kids. Evan had just lost his IV and was thrilled to go without having to be hooked up to a machine.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOj8E3MzE6u0GY7r0G3yCmSfDgn2YAfIBewRHqyYSiP5GoUwguDpWE3AxpIIMSMpSDbY1o0N5HTF5OeC9DzpHYeu1VDIr7-1MZCd3BKRrx0KTbeOfg7I93SwkJANr-zbb3uefrQo7BCvk/s1600/IMG_9462.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOj8E3MzE6u0GY7r0G3yCmSfDgn2YAfIBewRHqyYSiP5GoUwguDpWE3AxpIIMSMpSDbY1o0N5HTF5OeC9DzpHYeu1VDIr7-1MZCd3BKRrx0KTbeOfg7I93SwkJANr-zbb3uefrQo7BCvk/s400/IMG_9462.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the kid who doesn't eat very much was soooo excited to have his first real food the next day!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih6JK0oHWBUxit9nsbixyGztRhlaUcZr3B_LNStK4Kw9DlqWnAkhjf8NVkwCUw2CQb0n_4JpdwbewRh5aCaiosGv0io7vW3CFgjgwGyVWtB8YA2mF3CL_YPTIVLWkBnibPfaVOdx7GTkw/s1600/IMG_9473.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih6JK0oHWBUxit9nsbixyGztRhlaUcZr3B_LNStK4Kw9DlqWnAkhjf8NVkwCUw2CQb0n_4JpdwbewRh5aCaiosGv0io7vW3CFgjgwGyVWtB8YA2mF3CL_YPTIVLWkBnibPfaVOdx7GTkw/s400/IMG_9473.JPG" height="400" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">a special visitor came!!!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdRiAc7PiLsS7XuNbS-M0TW97Ft7lLnpuZoaa58EcvlpbR2TQBVMqz_kifiQzG4VWhsYlYeGJA4f6NPo6YDHWwf_mPbfLf-A0fuC05XesGhn_jBZAaVeQ7jfBIZjvm_HaqD44wIggqJ8M/s1600/IMG_9471.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdRiAc7PiLsS7XuNbS-M0TW97Ft7lLnpuZoaa58EcvlpbR2TQBVMqz_kifiQzG4VWhsYlYeGJA4f6NPo6YDHWwf_mPbfLf-A0fuC05XesGhn_jBZAaVeQ7jfBIZjvm_HaqD44wIggqJ8M/s320/IMG_9471.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">and he had EXACTLY what Evan requested for a present.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf8TI8yhv5G7V5nxk_UoYKgToXX0AxhzZUjJ6-xhI9i1JOZxfY1U_uwB0JiUJycvQMoYoDJejNepycmEtneYw3LP6_-5-R_nJdAqN5QEei5C5AJOA4XlXyhyphenhyphendKbs6bPf0kMWRFuLdeUYI/s1600/IMG_9485.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf8TI8yhv5G7V5nxk_UoYKgToXX0AxhzZUjJ6-xhI9i1JOZxfY1U_uwB0JiUJycvQMoYoDJejNepycmEtneYw3LP6_-5-R_nJdAqN5QEei5C5AJOA4XlXyhyphenhyphendKbs6bPf0kMWRFuLdeUYI/s320/IMG_9485.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The brothers came with daddy for a movie night ... everyone but me and the baby fell asleep.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWLQCc4loSoQXzB0ze2A7K1ZVUby_47hU2Zp3mDSntIRzTS0e3wFT5vDRf-nJRGzfzTVxXsx3b6Bh9GDSzkGHKqyMIx1hOuT2u4UzoVnp5M4E-xBynnaVQtX6rN8pKZ0mZhy3PDZslTic/s1600/IMG_9494.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWLQCc4loSoQXzB0ze2A7K1ZVUby_47hU2Zp3mDSntIRzTS0e3wFT5vDRf-nJRGzfzTVxXsx3b6Bh9GDSzkGHKqyMIx1hOuT2u4UzoVnp5M4E-xBynnaVQtX6rN8pKZ0mZhy3PDZslTic/s320/IMG_9494.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Evan got a "bath" before we went home :0)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">TUMMY BEFORE AND AFTER<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnqfcsPySjx5AxBHxCjTLGYIMSR1CCM-6aKeZiL6BsX4_R8r9E6INoyaKbwW_9Ay1dTGPt7nCxbxpYkP8NwflUJUU2oWhg3f9pJaCWcP1jhU3Hih4AEVo8xsPSfBzmn5coC8ARPSXFoeg/s1600/IMG_9413.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnqfcsPySjx5AxBHxCjTLGYIMSR1CCM-6aKeZiL6BsX4_R8r9E6INoyaKbwW_9Ay1dTGPt7nCxbxpYkP8NwflUJUU2oWhg3f9pJaCWcP1jhU3Hih4AEVo8xsPSfBzmn5coC8ARPSXFoeg/s400/IMG_9413.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
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<br />Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-26471526088747414382014-01-07T01:12:00.000-05:002014-01-07T01:12:05.861-05:00back to realityWell it has come. Winter break is over. Vacations and trying to sleep in are at an end. Tomorrow I will have to wake up my kiddos before they are ready to get up, get them ready and send them off to school. In some ways it will be nice to get back to routine, on the other hand my life will once again be dominated by schedules. <br />
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Next major milestone on the Palmer family schedule ... have a baby!!! (In approximately 14 weeks) Crazy!!!</div>
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Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-15866913815997306232013-12-12T02:07:00.002-05:002013-12-12T02:07:34.249-05:00pregnancy: thus farPregnancy has been an interesting experience. Never did I expect it to be a piece of cake. In fact I've had so many medical "issues" with my body in the past that I almost expected pregnancy to be tricky. I'm not completely naive about what pregnancy and delivery can look like, heck I've been watching my friends have babies for about 11 years now. It is really interesting though to discover first-hand some of the "beautiful" aspects of pregnancy. <br />
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In the beginning I felt like I had the flu 24/7. No I didn't throw up, but I always felt like I was going to. Because I was constantly nauseous I was really tired. I mostly just wanted to sleep. <br />
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One of my very favorite discoveries (cough, cough) is best summed up by something Justin tells people. He said that for years and years he heard about this mystical pregnancy "glow". He now knows that this "glow" is actually a haze of toxic gas that follows me wherever I go! I wish I was kidding too, but even my kids started to ask me if I had a tooting problem. I told them that it isn't actually me tooting but that the baby is tooting and obviously we will need to teach them to have better manners when they are born. :-)<br />
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We rented a Doppler so we could hear the baby's heart beat whenever we wanted to. It has eased my mind through this whole thing and the boys and I have sure had fun. They love to sit and listen to the babies heart beat, then mine, and then we spend some time listening to each of their hearts beat. It really has been fun to see my children have this very new experience of building a family. <br />
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Speaking of the boys. They have collectively decided that if this baby is a boy it will be named Scooter and a girl will be named Rainbow! Landon will switch between these two names and talk to my stomach. While I am not going to publicly say that those are bad names (heaven forbid I offend any "Rainbows" out there, we will NOT be naming this baby either of those names. <br />
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We have chosen to not find out the gender of the baby. We have our reasons, but the biggest of these is that we think it is fun to have that surprise at the end of the experience. It drives everyone else around us mental that we aren't going to find out! <br />
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I felt like I didn't really look pregnant until last Monday. I went to bed Sunday evening looking chunky and woke up on Monday morning looking pregnant!!! Even my girlfriends all agree that I "popped"!<br />
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I spent many many years coming to terms with my infertility. In fact I would say it was a full seven years before I could say that I was actually completely alright with my lot in life. Though I had completely accepted my infertility there was a single aspect of pregnancy that I was unbelievably jealous about. I wanted to know what it felt like to have a baby move inside of me. To have that connection to a life that nobody else gets to experience. To be that mother carrying a child is such a special privilege. I was BY FAR the most excited to feel this baby kick! It is literally what I've been waiting for the whole time! Everyone said it would feel like flutters, a slight movement. I was feeling NOTHING. Believe me I think I would have even counted gas bubbles as movement, but my stomach was almost rigid. The night before I hit the 20 week mark I was laying in bed, trying to fall asleep, and all of a sudden a was poked from the inside out! My eyes sprang open and it happened one more time!!! I immediately started to cry. It had happened. I could feel my baby move inside of me, a literal dream come true. I have to admit that since then I have been quite selfish almost willing this baby to move more often. I want to feel them all the time! Last week Justin was able to feel one small kick, but it will be a beautiful thing to share this with him as well.</div>
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This whole thing is flying by so quickly! I am so used to having to wait years for a baby that it seems that 9 months is no time at all! Yes we actually did get all of our children quickly through adoption, especially when you consider how lucky we are to have been chosen for 3 beautiful babies, but from the start of the paper work to placement it was over a year and a half for all of them and longer for Cameron. <br />
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Overall this experience has been incredible, breathtaking, and miraculous! I never said that I wanted the "joy" of pregnancy and delivery. I have always yearned for the "experience" of pregnancy and delivery and I still cannot believe that it is happening to me! </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">baby scooter</td></tr>
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<br />Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-78392501746882960062013-11-28T20:43:00.000-05:002013-11-28T20:43:00.647-05:00bulliesBeing a parent is hard. <br />
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I am constantly worrying about my kids. I worry about what others do to them. I worry about what they do to others. I worry about the choices that they will make, and I worry about the choices that they won't have. I also worry that I won't know what to do, or how to react in every one of these situations.<br />
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One of my fears has come true in the last week. <br />
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At the beginning of the school year we had a lot of trouble with busing for Evan. His day was too long and it was not a situation that he could continue with. We managed to switch companies and it seemed to be working well. The schedule was better and he was riding with other kids. The problem is that his chair loads in the back and he had to sit with the middle schoolers. I was worried about what he would learn from kids so much older than him. Little did I know it would be so much worse than I imagined. <br />
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I have a hard time getting my kids to really open up and talk about the "deep" things in their life. I mostly attribute this to their age and attention span. On our way to the hospital on Monday for a sleep study I could tell Evan was in a mood to talk. I turned all distraction off and we talked. My heart broke when I discovered that he has been bullied for several weeks by some of these middle school age kids. My sweet sensitive 6 year old is being bullied by teenagers! The saddest part about this is that Evan told me that it was all ok because he now put himself down with them and now they like him. My 6 year old even used the phrase, "Mom, its ok. I have to do this because they are the cool kids and I have to fit in with them." He then went on to put himself down for the next 15 minutes. I couldn't sway him to say anything positive. Evan saw my reaction to this information and kind've shut down. The part that makes me the most sad is that he thinks that these jerks are his friends now, because he has began to feed into their game of bully Evan. This has come on the heels of some behavior issues at home and school in the last couple weeks that now makes sense. <br />
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I called Evan's vice principal, who I have a good relationship with, and told her what was going on. She was alarmed and to my pleasure started to investigate immediately! Both schools administration has been very much on top of the situation and the guilty parties have been discovered. Evan's vice principal even rode the bus with the kids today along with a speech to all the kids on the bus about what is appropriate behavior and what is not. I am a little disappointed that they chose to leave the seating arrangements "for now" and "see how it goes", but hopefully these bullies have been scared enough by multiple principals to change their behavior. <br />
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I hope that Evan isn't affected by this in the long term. His life is already harder than most everyone else and it is only going to get harder as he physically declines. I hope that Evan can know that these idiots are not good examples of what friends should be. I pray with all my heart that he can remember what a great kid he is. I hope that he remembers his own morals and doesn't accept their poor behavior as normal behavior that he needs to take part in. I hope he remembers that he is perfect, just the way God made him. I hope he remembers that I love him so much that I literally lack the words to describe just how much. <br />
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I put "love notes" in his lunch every day and made sure that the last couple days have been about his strengths. He had one of his aides help him write a note back to me and he gave that to me yesterday. I burst into tears, which he thought was awesome. I feel so confused about what I can do in this situation and how to help him remember his worth and his note made me feel a little bit better. Maybe I'll do alright. I know I am trying to do my best. <br />
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this is a painting of a golden pyramid that Evan made for a contest at his school</div>
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Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-1525115554490404962013-11-09T10:55:00.002-05:002013-11-09T10:55:34.502-05:00halloween 2013<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Man alive am I behind on keeping up this poor little blog of mine. Our little family had a rough go there for a while, but I will save that for another post. </div>
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Halloween came around and was the much needed mindless relief that we all needed. Halloween is by far one of my favorite holidays and I usually have everything planned out months in advance. This year all my plans fell through. My first and second choices for costumes didn't happen for one reason or another. Ultimately I decided on Dorothy and Cameron was my lion. I wanted Justin to be scarecrow (and he was for one night) but I think he had his heart set on being the hairy outlaw so that is what he ended up being on the big day. For four months straight Evan wanted to be a ninja and as I'm putting on his ninja pants he changes his mind and wants to be a knight. I would be lying if I didn't admit that I, being the Halloween snob that I am, had a hard time with the last minute switch. Thankfully my good outlaw of a husband reminded me that the point of Halloween is for the kids to have fun and if Evan wanted to be half ninja, half knight then that was just fine. Landon changed his mind everyday leading up to Halloween, but in the end was pretty set on Spiderman. </div>
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We had pizza with the cousins and then the baby and I ran home to hand out candy while Daddy took the boys out and about. I think what I love most about Halloween, other than the fact that I can dress up, is the sense of community. People open their homes and give out sugar joy to all the children. How fun and wonderful is that. I feel that as a society we are fairly closed to others. We can so easily live a life within our bubble and halloween is a day that our doors are literally open to each other. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijuQX60mud7lz0B8RjT-sCXQO_io3hNqtsYw3PVJwk_kPYIWNXyqQ6lUnAKEOfSR0Sn5egY0BT9F4jXbjR_VVhaE2oWtBOie9uT1S4yi0HryfmwLrdSRYTXci1k_KMWQJ6UjhRhyAo6cg/s1600/IMG_8427.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijuQX60mud7lz0B8RjT-sCXQO_io3hNqtsYw3PVJwk_kPYIWNXyqQ6lUnAKEOfSR0Sn5egY0BT9F4jXbjR_VVhaE2oWtBOie9uT1S4yi0HryfmwLrdSRYTXci1k_KMWQJ6UjhRhyAo6cg/s320/IMG_8427.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">this is Evan's "sexy" face!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Landon helped me make lunch ... Mummies dipped in blood, guts and throw up</td></tr>
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HAPPY HALLOWEEN</div>
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<br />Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-83039049356417907142013-10-07T13:10:00.001-04:002013-10-07T13:10:44.916-04:00Cameron turns 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
This year has FLOWN by!!! I can't believe that this 19 pound baby sleeping on my shoulder is the same 4lb 14oz sweet pea we welcomed to our family one year ago. Come to think about it I can't believe it has been a year, and wow what a year this little boy has had!! </div>
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I will never forget the phone call I received at Starbucks on Oct. 9, 2012. I was with a friend and Justin called me 3 times in a row. He never does that so I knew it would be important. When he told me that our social worker called and there might be a baby I almost dropped my drink. Sure enough right there in Starbucks I learned that not only was there a potential baby, but he was three days old. I learned that he had Down Syndrome and a heart condition. I was asked if they could give his birth parents our profile. </div>
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One thing led to the next and a week later we were <a href="http://blindpiratedate.blogspot.ca/2012/10/introducing.html" target="_blank">meeting our baby</a>. I look at his pictures and the change is incredible. His first year was extremely busy. This year our sweet boy has experienced a major open heart surgery, came off of his full time oxygen, been on several trips, gone to Disneyland and so much more. </div>
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Cameron is by far the most pleasant baby I've ever met and literally an angel on this earth. We are so blessed to have him in our family. Happy Birthday my sweet sweet baby! We love you Cameron!!! </div>
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<b>OCTOBER 2012</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2dVI9F6FI6hXQyYvou1rOxhyF6JO4dXkvbUJi2JAFGM-5l55yd5uolZRIIY7hqluQPNN7RXbEr9iPCFsb8Dqoq5zJecgrApi_E3CA7RUGs38cdOgeKwKWhnKMfMbkoYEJyR9vwVwbbvg/s1600/IMG_4517.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2dVI9F6FI6hXQyYvou1rOxhyF6JO4dXkvbUJi2JAFGM-5l55yd5uolZRIIY7hqluQPNN7RXbEr9iPCFsb8Dqoq5zJecgrApi_E3CA7RUGs38cdOgeKwKWhnKMfMbkoYEJyR9vwVwbbvg/s640/IMG_4517.jpg" width="478" /></a></div>
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<b>NOVEMBER 2012</b></div>
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<b>DECEMBER 2012</b></div>
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<b>JANUARY 2013</b></div>
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<b>FEBRUARY 2013</b></div>
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<b>MARCH 2013</b></div>
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<b>APRIL 2013</b></div>
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<b>MAY 2013</b></div>
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<b>JUNE 2013</b></div>
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<b>JULY 2013</b></div>
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<b>AUGUST 2013</b></div>
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<b>SEPTEMBER 2013</b></div>
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<b> OCTOBER 2013 </b></div>
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<b>CAMERON TURNS ONE!!!! </b> </div>
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Don't be deceived, I really don't think he put any in his mouth. He sure did have fun destroying his cupcake though!!!</div>
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<br />Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-22959266083237734102013-10-04T13:11:00.001-04:002013-10-04T13:11:47.166-04:00Another miracle has happened<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I cannot believe I am writing this post. I have anticipated this day for the last three months and yet I sit here in my car waiting for rehearsal and it is still hard to believe that it is true. </div><div><br></div><div>After 10.5 years of marriage I am pregnant. When I took the pregnancy test I was caught completely off guard!!! I couldn't believe my eyes, but there it was... 2 very dark blue lines!!! </div><div><br></div><div>I was nervous for many different reasons. First I don't get pregnant, so with all of my infertility issues over the years it could just as well have been a tumor or a blighted ovum, so we wanted to wait until we could get an ultrasound and find out what we would be announcing. Second I was worried about miscarriage. Having only been pregnant once before and having such a horrific miscarriage made me really scared this time around. </div><div><br></div><div>I had to wait a long time to get an ultrasound and the month was really hard on me. I've been very sick and very tired. When the day of my ultrasound came I was a bundle of nerves. I really was hoping for the best but trying to prepare my mind for the worst. I didn't know what we would find during the exam. </div><div><br></div><div>I was soooo grateful to have my amazing husband by my side to hold my hand. I get so much strength from him and I am so grateful to have a partner who loves me through all my crazy. </div><div><br></div><div>The technician started the exam and there on the screen was a baby!!! A real baby with a heartbeat!!! The thing that completely caught me off guard was that I could see it moving!!! Because this is my first time around doing this I didn't know that you could watch the baby kick and stretch. It was one of the most beautiful things that I have ever seen in my life.</div><div><br></div><div>As anyone who knows me could have guessed I was a puddle of tears on that table and the rest of the day. I cannot believe that I have been given this gift. </div><div><br></div><div>I can't believe that God loves me enough to bless my life with the adoptions of my next to perfect boys and now I get to know and experience pregnancy and delivery! Wow!!! </div><div><br></div><div>I think the thing that excites and scares me the most is how close in age this sweet babe will be to my angel Cameron. I have always been a little sad that Cameron wouldn't have a sibling as close to him in age as Evan and Landon are to each other. The older boys have such a good relationship because they're so close in age, and now Cameron will have that too. It is a little terrifying how close they'll be (18months) but I know it'll be<br>a gift. And really who am I to question God's timing? With a 3% chance of getting pregnant this is no accident. I know this is Heavenly Fathers plan for our family and I am extremely excited to embark on this new adventure, whatever it may bring.</div><div><br></div><div>And so I am happy to announce that baby Palmer is due April 19,2014.</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvr9ymMg4Pe7zsU6la92AgonuyjOq-OIryqSilwflz4O45aU9bETSJsWut81Y3XyPffT2lSTU3lCpgFgusYeJBijcXym9O15Obp7vdAen6OBg69wcwnUhIlAJY966XNIMpRH9CxhdD0FM/s640/blogger-image--1796483478.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvr9ymMg4Pe7zsU6la92AgonuyjOq-OIryqSilwflz4O45aU9bETSJsWut81Y3XyPffT2lSTU3lCpgFgusYeJBijcXym9O15Obp7vdAen6OBg69wcwnUhIlAJY966XNIMpRH9CxhdD0FM/s640/blogger-image--1796483478.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpJ7XmFspEKzSjhaKBrP8JclFO4QulwAwTGFVBmmKOmelsIrm5KARnOCh9PVSfA6ZfIdj7huKCEun1YM6OgqXIWmK6U2xER2PSQ0wLcCejWW6wpi0nUTDTGowdKE1M_MlNjyEKMFiFhmU/s640/blogger-image-1273422676.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpJ7XmFspEKzSjhaKBrP8JclFO4QulwAwTGFVBmmKOmelsIrm5KARnOCh9PVSfA6ZfIdj7huKCEun1YM6OgqXIWmK6U2xER2PSQ0wLcCejWW6wpi0nUTDTGowdKE1M_MlNjyEKMFiFhmU/s640/blogger-image-1273422676.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlbmdsVSfuStZtNmQXQgpvPGi9mQuD4oohh-FKfp35viF1_6rRfUHbMdSenWEC-QoB51nKtw9NRBXtVBqMktH34Q2yPhL6trVJBnZDsHva6jtqVyOSlsR6n7GjvyXMmNaDK2HvVzsfOFg/s640/blogger-image--1270478471.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlbmdsVSfuStZtNmQXQgpvPGi9mQuD4oohh-FKfp35viF1_6rRfUHbMdSenWEC-QoB51nKtw9NRBXtVBqMktH34Q2yPhL6trVJBnZDsHva6jtqVyOSlsR6n7GjvyXMmNaDK2HvVzsfOFg/s640/blogger-image--1270478471.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-63000386258112195182013-09-11T12:49:00.002-04:002013-09-11T12:49:22.062-04:00INSANITYOur latest trip was INSANE and I feel that the insanity continued right on through to the end of the summer!!! <br />
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I feel like I am just now recovering from it all. It started with a trip to the Shuswap lake, followed immediately by SMA Family camp, followed immediately by a flight to California, followed immediately by a road trip back home. It was crazy and super tiring, but we survived and I am happy that we got to experience all that we did. <br />
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The trip even started out a little tricky. We got ready to pack up our van, which is a hard task in and of itself, and it started to DOWN POUR!!!! We are talking what I call a Florida style rain hit us and my poor hubby tried to do everything he could so that we could get on the road. <br />
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We took 2 days to get out to the Shuswap to be with some of our dear friends, who invited us to their cabin on the lake. Their cabin is water access only and it was a new and interesting experience for our family. <br />
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We celebrated Landon's birthday at the lake with our friends and while the whole experience as a whole was awesome I have to document something that happened that was pretty darn scary for me. <br />
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I guess it is fairly common for some pretty nasty winds to blow through that lake. While we were coming home from a hike that we had done we got caught in a pretty sudden storm. The waves were gettting quite large and the ride was getting very scary. This is the kind of moment that I really never like to contemplate or feel as a mother. In my head I am trying to figure out how to take care of and comfort all three of my kids who are sitting in different places in the boat. The wind was insane. We were drenched, but I'm not sure whether it was because of the rain or the waves. Through the constant slamming of the boat I was very concerned for Evans back. I kept trying to brace each hit as much as I could while giving him comfort through the experience. <br />
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Landon was sitting on the front of the boat with two other kids and Justin. Here is where I am going to make a side note and say that I am so grateful for divine guidance in my life. Before we took off for the trip I insisted that Justin sit up at the front with Landon because I didn't feel comfortable with him being up there with no adult, just in case something happened. Well that something did happen. <br />
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After driving in the storm for a while (it seemed like ages, but that could've been because I was so scared) they switched drivers and the nose of the boat went under the water. I watched my middle baby go under the water with it and that is about when I lost my mind. The nose did this 3 times when our amazing friend got control of the boat and got it back up. Everyone in the front was ok and I was just thanking my Heavenly Father that Justin was there to provide comfort and help keep Landon on the boat. <br />
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At this point I am pretty hysterical and Evan kept screaming that he didn't want to die. My own mind kept racing to the worst case scenario and how I could protect my children. I knew the likely hood of the boat going down was low. If we were thrown from the boat I knew Landon would be scared and tired, but he is a strong enough swimmer he would be alright with his life jacket on. I would have a hard time keeping Cameron and Evan's heads above the waves, even with the life vest on. They both have breathing issues and this is where my mind kept coming back to. <br />
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Finally someone made the decision to pull into the last available town we could pull into. We got off the boat and took refuge at a convenience store. We were all drenched, a little shaky, and waited out the storm together. I feel the most telling thing was the owners saying that they were watching us and they saw the boat go under the water and they were surprised that it came back up again. I also have to say that they kept praising Dave on his stellar driving skills. They said that they were so impressed and rarely see such stellar driving on the water. The fact that he was able to safely maneuver us to shore was amazing. <br />
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The hospitality of the store owners was incredible. I'm pretty sure they let us use all of their extra blankets and sweatshirts so we didn't freeze. It was dinner time and the only thing the baby (who had no bottle) could eat was ritz crackers. So Justin purchased a box of ritz crackers and I started to feed Cameron the best I could. <br />
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We waited for a little over an hour, but the storm did indeed pass. We did make it home safely. Evan still talks about the day we as if it was a near death experience for him and I can understand how he felt that way. <br />
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Oh, and I failed to mention that while it was complete mayhem on the boat ... my sweet baby Cameron slept through the whole thing!!! <br />
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The rest of our time at the lake was lovely and very relaxing! I feel so lucky to have such great friends who invite us out to their home and treat us so well! <br />
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Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-81441413644893989462013-08-04T00:44:00.001-04:002013-08-04T10:34:46.863-04:00Landon turns 4!!!! I wish this was more organized but I am limited by being out of town. Please forgive any grammar or spelling mistakes (I blame my phone ;-) <div><br></div><div>My Landon turns 4 today!!! How is my energetic middle 4 already? Landon has been his stubborn self since birth. He was 11 days late, induced, and still needed to be delivered via forceps. Still today he has to be forced to try new things. He has his own idea how things should be and curse the one (usually me) who is telling him otherwise. </div><div><br></div><div>I remember the first time I heard Landon. His tummy mummy had called us a couple of hours after she gave birth and while we were talking Landon started to cry. I'll never forget the strong lungs our new baby had. At only hours old he didn't have a newborn cry, but sounded like a 6 month old. Landon never slept and was always on the go!</div><div><br></div><div>Landon has continued to voice his opinion to this day and he is definitely still the most active person I have ever met. I wish I could bottle his never ending energy so I could keep up. </div><div><br></div><div>Landon can be a difficult child to parent but I try very hard not to stifle any of this because I KNOW it'll be these qualities that will make him a STELLAR adult! Already they serve him well. He did a fantastic job at bike camp and after one week of practicing he can ride his bike without training wheels. </div><div><br></div><div>I am always amazed at how smart Landon is. He really is a bright little boy! Landon is also a comedian by definition. I believe that his daily goal is to make others laugh. He does this with the things he says, the way he moves his body, and his facial features!!! </div><div><br></div><div>Landon loves to cook with me and is pretty good at it too! He adores his daddy and his brothers are some of his favorite people ever.</div><div><br></div><div>I love this little big boy more than words can say!!!!! Happy birthday Landon!!!!! </div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2B0uMOS2gE8BMV3PXFIJVdxqCEGT5wwZz31h3ZGDEG7FWpGsBGX2ZGEKBihNcpV566pOYoKS0Rl2A5jEifFyxbp6MvwR3H0avBCNdDemy9SmZZ56cm_EyZbYAPMZ1H1pORpc4DXoN5Uo/s640/blogger-image--1610857906.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2B0uMOS2gE8BMV3PXFIJVdxqCEGT5wwZz31h3ZGDEG7FWpGsBGX2ZGEKBihNcpV566pOYoKS0Rl2A5jEifFyxbp6MvwR3H0avBCNdDemy9SmZZ56cm_EyZbYAPMZ1H1pORpc4DXoN5Uo/s640/blogger-image--1610857906.jpg"></a></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjee3z78PES4FXjv5j6e7gNFQE3A3UFiqI5WhS1iJmqFgFOBmAKSy8UKlHzDmA0RvutGAjd0ZFpYDly9xv1UrgYL4fR2qVL3gCpgZkulpD4OGFBQKMcWVqH9MC7XbytaawLJx0JxL1bJnU/s640/blogger-image-880552017.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjee3z78PES4FXjv5j6e7gNFQE3A3UFiqI5WhS1iJmqFgFOBmAKSy8UKlHzDmA0RvutGAjd0ZFpYDly9xv1UrgYL4fR2qVL3gCpgZkulpD4OGFBQKMcWVqH9MC7XbytaawLJx0JxL1bJnU/s640/blogger-image-880552017.jpg"></a></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCVgibkxi8UnfSUsXbTtUgqcvLpyapbSZsEvLbbYlGmFe-rZIjbkmjZu_L9lrkl8C2ZKRmxDdNKtVdhYyG2lUqOpr1pHPIhpMjjCXiAwYeJuEWNqGnWceIPCOlaDI9u5JGJmGU426DEW4/s640/blogger-image-608853491.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCVgibkxi8UnfSUsXbTtUgqcvLpyapbSZsEvLbbYlGmFe-rZIjbkmjZu_L9lrkl8C2ZKRmxDdNKtVdhYyG2lUqOpr1pHPIhpMjjCXiAwYeJuEWNqGnWceIPCOlaDI9u5JGJmGU426DEW4/s640/blogger-image-608853491.jpg"></a></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9_KQx9MUYBpAcbDoJdtUCnRip18S5vYPh_2MnM8Ft251GbcJkZtLXGWzgIToZ5WglTbWRb-0Eh5e9lgZ18jzIg9NdHb4IcKa4lKqdz9tbn4_HX1dR8gcOfytUchmELysXOldSP4Raniw/s640/blogger-image-130125351.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9_KQx9MUYBpAcbDoJdtUCnRip18S5vYPh_2MnM8Ft251GbcJkZtLXGWzgIToZ5WglTbWRb-0Eh5e9lgZ18jzIg9NdHb4IcKa4lKqdz9tbn4_HX1dR8gcOfytUchmELysXOldSP4Raniw/s640/blogger-image-130125351.jpg"></a></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjENamztT5tWyC_h9bmYb-xmN4ZuNlfoP5Gfatz0u1qChhEOrZa07-nrwXF0s_NWwAg7oqHDKgezlrYZJorfppG84wXmaCXUWdxiO61uvaN9MZLm7SBOvrk6wnbis1viBLwqgDCaRs3FkA/s640/blogger-image--454620802.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjENamztT5tWyC_h9bmYb-xmN4ZuNlfoP5Gfatz0u1qChhEOrZa07-nrwXF0s_NWwAg7oqHDKgezlrYZJorfppG84wXmaCXUWdxiO61uvaN9MZLm7SBOvrk6wnbis1viBLwqgDCaRs3FkA/s640/blogger-image--454620802.jpg"></a></div>Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-26512179476644740162013-08-02T01:42:00.000-04:002013-08-02T01:42:47.951-04:00Kid updateAlright it is high time that I write another update about the funny things my kids have said or done lately. Here goes ...<br />
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<b>p.s. you WANT to read Landon's</b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">EVAN-isms: </span><br />
-This picture was taken at a good friends wedding this past weekend, where he made very good friends with the lady he sat next to during the reception. He planned a play date with her, gave her our address, and this is when they are exchanging phone numbers. <br />
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-While pointing to two dragonfly's that were mating he says, "Look mom, they are hanging out together. They must be really great friends."<br />
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-He has been requesting a bit more privacy as he is going #2 and I guess I poked my head in one too many times to check on him because I got a HUGE eye roll and he said, "Mom, the poop is there but every time you come in you make me lose my patience!" K:"Evan do you mean I make you lose your concentration?" E: "YES, whatever, please leave" (I can see what he will be like as a sassy teen!)<br />
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-Our care giver for the summer has been taking Evan to camp all week and he pulled her aside one of the times and said. "Um, now that I have you alone I need you to know that I love you so much! Will you marry me?" He then gave her strict instructions not to fall in love with anyone else.<br />
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-I was mowing the lawn the other day and he got very excited and said "Mom, Daddy will be so proud of you because you have a real job now! " "Evan, being a mom is a job" "yes yes I know, but this is a real job and that is so great" "Evan, what do you think being a mom is?" (at this point he thinks long and hard and says "you know, preparing the house for Vampire Diaries" (my jaw drops at this point) "Evan what about [and I start to list all the things a mom does]" "yeah yeah, I guess, but Daddy is funnier than you" (I can't win!)<br />
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-He is still the most active child I know and has such a zest for life that is beautiful! He doesn't really say much, but is constantly making noise. It could be a scream, a cry for joy, a yip or many other various and intentionally funny sounds. </div>
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-Landon woke up before anyone else the other day (ok thats everyday) and we were cuddling in bed together. He keeps poking me in the chest and so I ask him to stop. I have to ask him several times when I finally said "Landon, please stop now. Those are my privates and you aren't allowed to touch other people's private parts" He stops everything he is doing and with confused amazment in his voice says ... "you pee into the air??!!!" I DIED laughing and tried to tell him that girls have more private parts than boys and I do not pee into the air, but he still thinks that I pee into the air from my boobs! HA!!!! </div>
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Cameron is thriving and blowing everyones minds everyday with his development. He has almost mastered sitting (he still falls sometimes) and is starting to move around more on the floor. He propels himself backward and will do circles with his arms. In fact I heard to him really cry today (which is rare) when he had backed himself underneath the couch and got stuck. His head shaping helmet is already making a difference and we are feeling happy that we made the very expensive decision to get it. Cameron literally attracts attention everywhere we go, usually because of his infectious smile. He is a very smiley boy, but if you are new he doesn't pull it out until he has studied you intently first. He is very vocal, but not to people or in a conversation. He will talk to things, but once someone speaks to him he is too focused on that person to make any kind of verbal response. He now weighs 16 lbs 10 oz. </div>
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Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-27487341356713726202013-07-24T01:14:00.000-04:002013-07-24T01:14:08.808-04:00Celebrating our special manI feel so lucky to have the family that I have! We had a very special weekend to celebrate our perfect little man and almost everyone was there to celebrate with us. <br />
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As Mormons we have the option to be married in the temple if we promise to live a certain lifestyle. When we are married in the temple we call it a <a href="http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/sealing" target="_blank">sealing</a>. This is not a marriage for time but an eternal marriage. There is no "till death do you part". Any children that are born are born under the covenant and are sealed to their parents through the marriage sealing. With adoption that sealing is not automatic and so we get to be <a href="http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/sealing" target="_blank">sealed</a> to that individual child in a ceremony within the temple walls. It is such a special, beautiful ceremony and I feel so blessed that I have gotten to experience it 3 times now, in addition to my marriage to Justin!<br />
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We were surrounded by our loved ones in that room. During the ceremony Cameron just stared at Justin the whole time. I knew he would because the other boys did it too. Evan stared at Justin, Landon stared at me and Cameron could not keep his eyes off Justin through the whole ceremony. This special ceremony that makes our family eternal is by far the highlight of my life.<br />
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We spent some time taking pictures outside the temple and then met everyone afterwards at Peters Drive In!!! (Best fast food in Calgary!)</div>
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That night Evan said the cutest prayer. He thanked our Heavenly Father that Cameron was sealed to our family and that Cameron can now know he can be with us forever, even when he dies and is living with Jesus again. I love that he gets it! He really gets it!!!</div>
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The next day we had the privilege of blessing Cameron in church. I loved that we even had some men wearing "<a href="http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/helping-hands" target="_blank">Mormon helping hands</a>" shirts in the circle. I feel honored that we have friends who are sacrificing time with their families, and their weekends to help those in need. I hope Cameron grows up and knows that there were truly great men standing in that circle to give him a name and a blessing on that day. They are men that I hope he emulates throughout his life.</div>
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Cameron's blessing was beautiful. Between mine and some family members notes here is a summary of his blessing.<br />
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<i><b>Cameron Justin Douglas Palmer</b></i><br />
<i><b>We bless you with the love of our Heavenly Father. You will be an example to everyone of love, compassion, and a spirit of happiness. People will see that happiness and the love of Heavenly Father. You will be a strong example to your brothers and others. You will know that you are a choice spirit. You will grow strong. Your next surgery will be successful. You will grow strong surrounded by the love of your family and friends. You will be an example of a person who brings other people closer to our Heavenly Father. </b></i></div>
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It truly was a beautiful weekend. </div>
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and one from his blessing day until we get our professional pictures</div>
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Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-14138719669412429282013-07-22T01:27:00.001-04:002013-07-22T01:27:42.739-04:00Leavitt's in the motherlandWhat a fabulous week our family had 2 weeks ago!!! The majority of the week consisted with family fun, and when I say family fun I mean the majority of my family living in my home laughing and playing together for 10 days.<br />
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Trying to get 15 people out the door is very much like herding cats but it was always worth it. Some highlights of the week are going to Les Miserables, we saw a massive bear on a hiking trail in Waterton (I definitely possess the flight survival instinct!), Mom's 50 birthday, the one and only Calgary Stampede, and of course our little mans special weekend, which I'll post on later this week. (Maybe even tomorrow if I can get my butt in gear ;-)<br />
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My Dad and my sister both wrote beautiful posts about the trip. You really should go look at their pictures! <br />
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<a href="http://fleavitt.blogspot.ca/2013/07/the-leavitts-do-canada.html" target="_blank">Here is Dad's</a></div>
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<a href="http://crowleyparty.blogspot.ca/2013/07/back-in-motherland-eh.html" target="_blank">Here is Alycia's</a></div>
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I love when my family gets to play together. I feel so grateful that they came. I love you all! Enjoy some (not all) of my favorite pictures, documenting some of my most favorite memories made with my family! <i>But make sure you at least see the last picture!!! </i></div>
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<b>Ben and Sharley arrive with FUN and SUGAR</b></div>
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<b>My Mom's Family Reunion where Dad showed off his football skills!</b></div>
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<b>Canada Day in Rosemary</b></div>
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<b>SISTERS!</b></div>
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<b>Ben reverted to the fetal position in front of the hospital he was born in.</b></div>
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<b>We may or may not have broken into my Dad's old house when we found out it was vacant and the door was unlocked. I have VERY strong memories that live in this house. My Grandparents lived here and then my Aunt and Uncle. There was so much still in the house from when my Dad was a child. My Aunt painted these feet ... the hot pink lady was a new feature. Even my Dad's old lab (yes he had a lab) was still there, including the table he installed.</b></div>
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<b>Off to Waterton where butterflies loved my mom and Ben could have won survivor</b></div>
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<span style="text-align: left;"><b>One of my favorite pictures of Ben.</b> </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEKHHOHeuby-CrVRIeoHePyAj-zjUQ2icu32Mtne1pNYEsCAyQ0Kdljdrd4Iffyvk1DE5THOA38L6AQgzb1mNd9MA11DX12c7pVWlEWEPQvV3atsQ2s9dLrZySWdZVGNMKr8P-f9CkgGQ/s1600/IMG_4721.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEKHHOHeuby-CrVRIeoHePyAj-zjUQ2icu32Mtne1pNYEsCAyQ0Kdljdrd4Iffyvk1DE5THOA38L6AQgzb1mNd9MA11DX12c7pVWlEWEPQvV3atsQ2s9dLrZySWdZVGNMKr8P-f9CkgGQ/s320/IMG_4721.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<b>One of my favorite pictures of Cameron</b></div>
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<b>Justin did everyones dental work who wanted it. Ben decided to let the assistants work on paying customers so he filled in the job while Justin filled Alycia's cavities. (yes people Alycia is no longer perfect ;-)</b></div>
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<b>Those who didn't need dental work went to the Stampede parade at the Children's hospital. </b></div>
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<b>GG arrives!</b></div>
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<b>Mom celebrates the BIG 50!!!!</b></div>
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<b>So we celebrate her by going to the World Famous Calgary Stampede.</b></div>
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<b>We celebrated this sweet baby, which deserves its own post!</b></div>
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<b><u>AND NOW FOR SOME OF MY FAVORITE PICTURES TAKEN</u></b></div>
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^</div>
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<b>I came down to find Cameron wearing a diaper 4 sizes too big.</b></div>
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<b>who knows.</b>...</div>
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<b>Justin wanted to double dive, which I clearly didn't want to participate in. Too bad it resulted in the worst belly flop/face plant I've ever experienced!!!</b></div>
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Kirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01831210620052430554noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3323877725642990011.post-14738651927749602932013-07-15T01:37:00.003-04:002013-07-15T16:27:56.626-04:00Evan turns 6<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I can't believe that I am writing this post right now. My Evan is turning 6 today! I remember vividly the beginning of his life. I remember the anxiety and nerves that Justin and I felt as we waited for THAT phone call. We knew Evan's tummy mummy was in active labor. We were worried about her and so excited for the arrival of our baby. I will never forget the early morning phone call announcing the arrival of our baby boy. Mom and baby were doing well and we were relieved. The emotions of his placement are still so alive to me that I feel like it was yesterday. Our life was forever changed 6 years ago today and I will always be in debt to his amazing tummy mummy who chose us to parent her child. She loves Evan so much and we love her!<br />
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Evan is one of the most incredible people I've ever known. He has a humor beyond his 6 years which is constantly surprising me. Despite Evan's weakened muscles he is an example of strength to me. The endurance he displays through his individual trials amazes me everyday. Evan loves me, worships his Daddy, and adores his brothers. <br />
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Evan loves and hates the spotlight, depending on his mood and he is always up to playing his video games or Ipad. Evan doesn't deal well with life when he is tired but is pretty good at reading what his body needs. He is still very into pirates, but has developed a love of Star Wars and legos. I learn every day from my handsome man. I can't wait to see what this year holds, there are a lot of firsts. He will be starting "real" school and I am pretty sure we are both a little nervous about it. Deep down I know it will be good for him and I so look forward to all of the things he is going to learn this year and see how he develops and grows. <br />
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I thank God everyday for giving me this little boy to love and be with everyday. He has made me a better person. Happy Birthday Evan! We love you more than words!!!!!</div>
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