Thursday, December 12, 2013

pregnancy: thus far

Pregnancy has been an interesting experience.  Never did I expect it to be a piece of cake.  In fact I've had so many medical "issues" with my body in the past that I almost expected pregnancy to be tricky.  I'm not completely naive about what pregnancy and delivery can look like, heck I've been watching my friends have babies for about 11 years now.  It is really interesting though to discover first-hand some of the "beautiful" aspects of pregnancy.

In the beginning I felt like I had the flu 24/7.  No I didn't throw up, but I always felt like I was going to.  Because I was constantly nauseous I was really tired.  I mostly just wanted to sleep.

One of my very favorite discoveries (cough, cough) is best summed up by something Justin tells people.  He said that for years and years he heard about this mystical pregnancy "glow".  He now knows that this "glow" is actually a haze of toxic gas that follows me wherever I go!  I wish I was kidding too, but even my kids started to ask me if I had a tooting problem.  I told them that it isn't actually me tooting but that the baby is tooting and obviously we will need to teach them to have better manners when they are born.  :-)

We rented a Doppler so we could hear the baby's heart beat whenever we wanted to.  It has eased my mind through this whole thing and the boys and I have sure had fun.  They love to sit and listen to the babies heart beat, then mine, and then we spend some time listening to each of their hearts beat.  It really has been fun to see my children have this very new experience of building a family.

Speaking of the boys.  They have collectively decided that if this baby is a boy it will be named Scooter and a girl will be named Rainbow!  Landon will switch between these two names and talk to my stomach.  While I am not going to publicly say that those are bad names (heaven forbid I offend any "Rainbows" out there, we will NOT be naming this baby either of those names.

We have chosen to not find out the gender of the baby.  We have our reasons, but the biggest of these is that we think it is fun to have that surprise at the end of the experience.  It drives everyone else around us mental that we aren't going to find out!

I felt like I didn't really look pregnant until last Monday.  I went to bed Sunday evening looking chunky and woke up on Monday morning looking pregnant!!!  Even my girlfriends all agree that I "popped"!

I spent many many years coming to terms with my infertility.  In fact I would say it was a full seven years before I could say that I was actually completely alright with my lot in life.  Though I had completely accepted my infertility there was a single aspect of pregnancy that I was unbelievably jealous about.  I wanted to know what it felt like to have a baby move inside of me.  To have that connection to a life that nobody else gets to experience.  To be that mother carrying a child is such a special privilege.  I was BY FAR the most excited to feel this baby kick!  It is literally what I've been waiting for the whole time!  Everyone said it would feel like flutters, a slight movement.  I was feeling NOTHING.  Believe me I think I would have even counted gas bubbles as movement, but my stomach was almost rigid.  The night before I hit the 20 week mark I was laying in bed, trying to fall asleep, and all of a sudden a was poked from the inside out!  My eyes sprang open and it happened one more time!!!  I immediately started to cry.  It had happened.  I could feel my baby move inside of me, a literal dream come true.  I have to admit that since then I have been quite selfish almost willing this baby to move more often.  I want to feel them all the time!  Last week Justin was able to feel one small kick, but it will be a beautiful thing to share this with him as well.

This whole thing is flying by so quickly!  I am so used to having to wait years for a baby that it seems that 9 months is no time at all!  Yes we actually did get all of our children quickly through adoption, especially when you consider how lucky we are to have been chosen for 3 beautiful babies, but from the start of the paper work to placement it was over a year and a half for all of them and longer for Cameron.

Overall this experience has been incredible, breathtaking, and miraculous!  I never said that I wanted the "joy" of pregnancy and delivery.  I have always yearned for the "experience" of pregnancy and delivery and I still cannot believe that it is happening to me!  

baby scooter


Becky said...

You're looking hot! I'm so happy for you, and I can't wait to see your newest little one. Love that you're documenting the experience. I didn't do that and really wish I had.

thenaptimebaker said...

Couldn't be happier for you, Kira! It's great you've stated to feel the baby move! It's so fun. Just know that in a few short months those cute bumps and taps from the inside will turn into something that feels like an alien about to burst out of your stomach. Still a miracle, but a lot more painful, haha!

Peter and Mandy said...

I'm so happy for you...I think it's going to be a Serene's alien comment-so true

Fred ... said...

I'm getting very excited. Can't wait to see you (and Rainbow) in real life.