Friday, March 21, 2014

Happy Down Syndrome awareness day

It is Down Syndrome awareness day and I feel it only appropriate to pay a little tribute to a special man in my life.  Cameron's birth and journey to our family was a very special one filled with miracles.  I call him my perfect child because so far, that is exactly what he has been.  Even with all of his medical issues (and there were a lot!) Cameron was hands down my easiest baby.  Cameron has a fighting spirit.  He blew us all away with his strength through his heart surgery and other tests along the way and since.

Since getting a little older his personality has started to develop.  He knows what he wants and doesn't want but does not yet have the language to express it so we work on that daily.  He has worked very hard on his mobility.  He can't traditional crawl but he army crawls like a champion, sits, and pulls up to his knees beautifully.  His team of early intervention workers is amazing and really care about him and his ability to succeed.

Cameron exudes love!  He is a cuddle ball and happy all the time.  I love watching him play with his brothers and he thinks it is pretty darn awesome when they spend time with him.  His face always lights up even more when he is around them, but he is %100 a Mama's boy.  I am his favorite person on the planet!  This makes me so happy because the other two would prefer Dad to me.  I get it too.  Justin is fun fun fun all the time, he isn't the main disciplinarian because he is at work during the day and he lets them play video games with him on Saturday mornings.  Who wouldn't prefer hanging
out with someone that fun? Don't get me wrong they will always choose me when they are sick or hurt, but as far as every day stuff they want their Dad, but not my Cameron boy.  He doesn't even care what we are doing he just wants to be with me and I LOVE IT!

This beautiful child, who happens to have Down Syndrome has changed our life for good and not one of us could imagine life without him.      

Happy Down Syndrome awareness day!!!

Wednesday, March 12, 2014


I know this is not a surprise to anyone who has been pregnant or been around someone who is pregnant, but growing a person is hard.  There have been some unexpected ups and downs.  How any pregnant woman continues to exercise, let alone walk is beyond me.  It takes all my will not to waddle in public.  The waddle, I have found, isn't because I have lost my center of gravity but because of constant pain in multiple parts of my body that you can't do anything about.  There are so many other things too, severe heart burn, dizzy spells, insomnia, too frequent urination, severe constipation, and the fact that anytime I sneeze I pee my pants are all little unwelcomed gifts from this growing person inside me.  


When this life inside me moves (and it does often) I feel the heavens open.  I can't believe that God has given me the gift of creating a life.  I get to carry a baby.  It's almost like my personal secret.  I go through the day literally having personal conversations with this new baby.  The little one inside of me will rock, kick, or roll and I reach down and caress them back.  We are in our own little world that often times others around aren't even aware of.  It is a dream come true.  These experiences bring a new aspect to my relationship and thoughts of my other children as well.  I am now able to imagine them having the same experience with their tummy mommy's and how special that time was for them to have with these beautiful babies.  I always knew it in my mind, but now I can physically imagine it.   

My body has changed so much.  It is pretty incredible to see and I will sometimes walk by a mirror and be surprised at how big I am.  I was looking through pictures of a beach day we had last year and could hardly believe the difference between myself then and myself now.  My weight gain doesn't bother me.  I know that I am changing to give this baby the best chance at a healthy life and I love that I get to play such an active part in taking care of this life already.    

We are all so excited for this baby to join our family.  It is funny to see the boys reactions day to day about it.  Evan is excited, but I think at this point its kind've old news for him.  I feel bad because I think this is in part because he is in school all day and because he is in a wheelchair.  He is gone a lot of the day so he doesn't have as many chances at feeling the baby move inside of me and when he is home it is hard to get him into a position quick enough that he could feel it.  During church this week we were having some cuddle time and the baby was moving like crazy.  It kept kicking Evan and for the first time Evan seemed totally into it all.  I am so grateful that he got to have that experience.  Landon is by far the most excited one in the family.  He was asking every single day how long until Easter (because he knows that's when the baby is due).  I finally made him a calendar so he can now mark off everyday and see for himself when the baby might come.  Cameron has zero idea that he is going to be a big brother in 5 1/2 weeks.  As for Justin and I we are trying to soak up every last bit of this pregnancy, good and bad.  We know this is it for our family, which makes me sad.  Still I mostly just feel an overwhelming love for my Heavenly Father and the path that he laid out for me.  It isn't always an easy road, but it is my road and I am so grateful for the journey thus far.