Eating

We eat for all kinds of reasons. Whether it is a social activity or for survival eating is essential to life. 

If you know us at all you know that eating has been one of our biggest hurdles with Evan. This year has truly been a year of growth for him and us. In fact talking about it is hard for me, not because I don't want to talk about it but because it is so complex an issue. 

For the first month or so of this journey I talked with a counselor at the hospital almost daily because I was having such a hard time with everything. I was really looking forward to summer and having Evan with me full time again so I could hopefully discover more strategies and get Evan to develop acceptable innate eating habits that he has fought so hard against. 

Evan had an appointment with his dietician this week. It was the first appointment with the dietician that I didn't go into crying and walk out crying. In fact I am really happy with the place we have come to. We still have improvements to make but baby steps in a positive direction is enough to keep this mama happy. 

Now that summer is drawing to a close I would be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous. I hate that Evans school keeps him away all day as it is but now I have to let him leave and pray that the progress we have made in regards to eating will continue without me there. 

I am going to just hold on to the fact that, for now, I am doing a good job, and that for now things are improving. 

Great job Evan! He was pretty proud of himself for gaining weight.  

I love my kids so much that sometimes my heart actually hurts. I don't know any other way of saying it. Don't get me wrong there are definitely some times that I don't like them very much and then they will do something wonderful and all is forgiven again.

This morning I got to see Landon race in a kids spartan race. I was that loud and proud mama taking pictures from the sideline. I watched him run and complete obstacles with so much determination I cried. Literally I stood there on the sidelines crying. (I've always been a sap and I wear my mommy tears proudly!) 

It made my whole day to have him run up to me afterwards screaming with so much pride and excitement that he had placed 3rd in his age group. 

That enthusiasm is so much a part of him. Whether he is angry, happy, or sad he is enthusiastic about it. When that kid is joyful you want to be around to get just a little taste of the sunshine he exudes. 

I don't want to miss this

Most days lately end in exhaustion for me, but I am sitting in a hotel room tonight surrounded by the snores of my babies and I don't want to miss anything. Now that I know our family is complete I feel like time has sped up. I feel like I can't keep a hold on any of my kids and each one is growing up faster than I want them to. I don't want to miss this time when they are little and I am going to make the effort to at least write something every night so I can remember my life as it is, right now, in all the crazy beautiful chaos that surrounds me. So here is to resolutions and striving to keep them. I am not a writer but I am honored to try and keep up with my story.