haggard and disheveled

Anyone who lives here knows that I was having a hard time last week.  I had finished my second week of being the sole caregiver to a family suffering from the flu.  This particular disease literally wiped out Evan, Landon, Justin, and Cameron.  Poor little C-man got it last and completely stopped eating the week after (week 3 for me).  I was tired and I was stressed out because my baby wasn't eating.  We ended up in the Cardiologists office because I didn't know if we were dealing with lasting effects from the flu, heart failure, or something else I wasn't even aware of.  We determined that baby might have reflux and started him on the medication for that, which has worked ... PRAISE THE LORD! 

The Cardio clinic asked us to come in for a follow up today and while I was there I learned something about myself.  Two of the nurses and our Cardiologist all said the same things when they saw me (and none said it in front of the others).  They all said a version of: 

"You look like you are doing much better! You really looked haggard and disheveled when you were in here last.  You just looked so tired and very stressed out!"  

All of them used the words "haggard" and "disheveled" and "stressed", and two of them used the word "tired".  It probably didn't help that last week I walked into the office and burst into tears (I don't cry pretty).    All of them commented how much better I looked today and how put together I was compared to lasts weeks version of me.  

It was interesting to learn that I truly looked as terrible as I felt, and while I'm sure the haggard, disheveled mommy will rear her frightful greasy head yet again I am glad to have myself back for a little while.     

Oh Landon

I have a hard time describing this amazing child in words.  He doesn't have the wit that Evan has that I just write verbatim, but he is equally funny.  It is mostly his reactions to things, the way he crinkles his eyes into half moons when he is smiling, or the way throws his head back when he is laughing.  He is still so full of energy, but has learned how to channel it into non-destructive activities (most of the time).    Landon is my little helper.  He wants to help me all the time, whether its cleaning, doing the laundry, Evan's medical needs or Cameron's needs.  He was meant to have brothers.  He is the best brother I have ever seen.  Landon, at 3, is completely aware of his brothers needs and helps without me asking him to do so because he really wants to help them.  It will be interesting because since Cameron came to us, Landon has been consistent in saying that he wants to be a doctor when he grows up.  If he keeps his natural ability to love and want to help, I think he would be amazing in that profession.  Landon is sooooo proud of his brothers and is always hugging and kissing them.  He wants everyone to know that they are his brothers and so he is ALWAYS the first one to make the introductions where ever our family goes.  Landon has been fully potty trained since mid-October and even makes it through the night.  He can swim unassisted now, but  he knows to only do that when there is an adult around.  He has also become such an amazing skater and really enjoys being out of the ice behind our house.  Landon is a sunbeam now in church and since the second week in has loved it!!!  To say he wasn't thrilled about going the first week to a "big boy" class in church would be an understatement.  He and I are kindred spirits in the need for touch department and I don't know that Landon knows how to do a soft hug (unless it is given to a baby, a kitten, or a puppy).  I could hug and cuddle this beautiful, colorful, child all day!    

Evan Update

So this kid is FUNNY!!!!  Seriously he cracks me up all the time.  He says the funniest things and he gets inside jokes that adults are telling.  Here are some of my favorites lately.

While gazing into our fish tank he comments on how beautiful one of our female guppies is.  He goes on and on about her beauty and finally sighs and says ... "she is one dynamite gal!"

At the hospital the other day Evan looks at me and says: "Mom, that is a really ugly shirt." I tell him that that hurts my feelings and he got a worried look on his face and says, "Oh I'm so sorry!  Mom, your shirt is lovely ... and a little bit ugly.  Does that make you feel better?"

I was upset the other day and the boys were both trying to make me feel better.  Evan gets a really sweet look on his face and says to me, "Do you want to watch Vampire Diaries?  That will make you feel better."  Yes Buddy, yes it would!

At school he passed his teacher from last year and says: "Miss Kyla, I'm a little different."  (why Evan?) "ummmm, because I don't ever get tired and I like to drink blood." (that sounds like you're a vampire.)  "well, half vampire half werewolf, but I decided you can be my friend again so I won't eat you."

The other highlight of our time with Evan I have posted already in Facebook.  I am going to repost it here.  Evan brings so much light into our lives.  This 5 year old Evan definitely has more sass, but our time with him is pretty awesome!

I have so many words of thanks for so many people that I fear I am not going to be able to put everything down coherently, but I need to try. Five months ago we put out a plea for help in fundraising for Evan’s new wheelchair. The amount seemed daunting, and we knew we could only achieve it with the help of others. We received money from all realms of our life. Each and every donation brought tears to my eyes. I have been overwhelmed with the love each of you have shown for Justin and I, and more importantly the gift you have given to our son. I am pleased to announce that through the generosity of many we can now order his wheelchair! Evan more than anyone is so excited to have this chair that will allow him to stand. He doesn’t fully understand the medical benefits, but is very aware of the social benefits. Evan himself has donated 10% of his savings towards the chair (that .25 cents was a lot for him to give up). It will take about 2 months to build the chair and to those who gave us your money, your time, and your prayers … THANK YOU! Thank you for extending the life of our son. We are forever grateful!