haggard and disheveled

Anyone who lives here knows that I was having a hard time last week.  I had finished my second week of being the sole caregiver to a family suffering from the flu.  This particular disease literally wiped out Evan, Landon, Justin, and Cameron.  Poor little C-man got it last and completely stopped eating the week after (week 3 for me).  I was tired and I was stressed out because my baby wasn't eating.  We ended up in the Cardiologists office because I didn't know if we were dealing with lasting effects from the flu, heart failure, or something else I wasn't even aware of.  We determined that baby might have reflux and started him on the medication for that, which has worked ... PRAISE THE LORD! 

The Cardio clinic asked us to come in for a follow up today and while I was there I learned something about myself.  Two of the nurses and our Cardiologist all said the same things when they saw me (and none said it in front of the others).  They all said a version of: 

"You look like you are doing much better! You really looked haggard and disheveled when you were in here last.  You just looked so tired and very stressed out!"  

All of them used the words "haggard" and "disheveled" and "stressed", and two of them used the word "tired".  It probably didn't help that last week I walked into the office and burst into tears (I don't cry pretty).    All of them commented how much better I looked today and how put together I was compared to lasts weeks version of me.  

It was interesting to learn that I truly looked as terrible as I felt, and while I'm sure the haggard, disheveled mommy will rear her frightful greasy head yet again I am glad to have myself back for a little while.