I am hereby apologizing:
-Sorry. Lately I haven't been a great commenter (ok, I haven't commented at all)! I love checking blogs. In fact it has been a great source of distraction through all of this stuff that I have been going through. I love y'all and I swear I am reading, but usually when I am reading blogs I have been wallowing a little in my own self pity. I promise I am coming back and I will start spreading my love again soon.
-Sorry my blogs have been fairly depressing ... not like this one is helping my run of optimism.
-Sorry there haven't been any pictures. It is too cold in our basement where I need to load the pictures, and my posts have been too depressing to put up a picture. Once this weather decides to change I just might brave the basement.
Alright, enough of the apologies.
Saturday was amazing. The performance rocked and I really hope hope hope that I can audition well enough to earn a full time position with them. I know they want me. They have been very open and clear about that. I desperately want to play with them. I wish they could just award me the spot without me having to audition. Oh well, things are always better when you earn them .... right???
Sunday was hard. I went to church for the first time since I lost the baby. I was conducting the hymns for the congregation. I almost lost it during the first two hymns, was ok during the third, and had my friend conduct the last hymn (THANK YOU KRISTEN) because I knew that there was no way I could make it through that one. I pretty much cried the rest of the time. Now that that is over and done with I think it will be easier.
I know I will never forget this baby that grew inside of me for 11 weeks, but it really is interesting how differently I feel now. Before when people would ask me how I felt, I couldn't really feel the difference from before (except the exhaustion, hunger, and boobs) but now that the baby is gone I totally feel a difference. Nothing else really to say about it, just it feels very different.
I am excited to be a parent volunteer on Evan's field trip tomorrow. I hope it isn't snowing because that would totally put a damper on our outdoor adventure (especially since Landon is sick and he is coming with us). Wish us luck!!!