Tuesday, April 20, 2010

I feel terrible that I haven't blogged for so long!!! Normally I am not this bad. The problem is that most of the things I want to say I would like to post pictures to go along with it. I haven't downloaded any pictures and then it is night time and I forget. Hopefully I can get on the ball and do that tomorrow.

Something I do want to say is that lately I have been very weepy concerning Evan. As you know, to say that I am a VERY emotional person would be a bit of an understatement. I often get emotional when it comes to my kids.

We have become quite settled in our life with SMA, and we are happy! We deal with the crisis moments as they come and try to not let our minds wander too much around "the bad". Mostly I am fine but for about 2 weeks now there are some major fears (that I have had from day 1) that are always in my thoughts. There are many experiences in life that I don't want, but that I can handle (even if it is a lot of work and money), but there are some experiences that I just don't think I could make it through. The problem is that it is those trials that are very real possibilities in my life now.

Hopefully these thoughts will get pushed to the back of my subconscious again, and until then I will continue to cry often and hug and kiss my children the most I can.


Lisa said...

I will tell you what I've been telling Sarah as she is dealing with her own personal trials right now. We can't live our lives wondering and worrying about what may be. We need to push those thoughts out of our minds and live our lives now and move forward. Enjoy today! I know that's not always easy. I've been having to put to practice my own advice when it comes to what Sarah is dealing with right now. What I can say is that with a lot of prayer and by really practicing this it's getting easier to do it. If one of those thoughts starts to creep in and I start to get sick to my stomach I stop and say a little prayer and it's gone. Keep your chin up and try my advice. Also, remember that Heavenly Father doesn't give us more than we can handle. I went to a special RS meeting this week and that was basically the gest of the talk. This woman lives in Poway but has written books for Deseret Book and speaks at education week and Time Out For Women. It was amazing! We also had a high council member speak on this this Sunday. Two wonderful reminders. Love you! xxoo

Lowdogg said...

I'm glad you shared this Kira. It's easy for us to forget the nature of Evan's condition, especially because we get to enjoy the great stories and pictures you post.

We're excited to see you next month!

Erin said...

Kira, you are an amazing, strong woman. I've always admired that about you. Thanks for being that example for me! Hang in there sister...loves to you! Erin