ding ding ding ... nailed it!!!!

Out of curiosity I took a quiz on oprah.com called "who are you striving to be". The quiz asks you questions about yourself and your reactions to different situations and then puts you into a category. The result was terrifyingly accurate about me! Seriously I am a little freaked out! I don't think I could have described myself better. For your own entertainment ... I copied and pasted my results ... let me know what you think.

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YOU ARE STRIVING TO BE CREATIVE You are an artist: You came out of the womb with a paintbrush in your hand. Or maybe it was a flute or a castanet or a fountain pen to go with your poet's imagination. The point is, you're an original, and you know it. Even if you don't have a singular gift, you're drawn to the arts—anything creative, for that matter—and you have a unique way of looking at the world. Your need for depth and authenticity in relationships can lead to both great joy and profound sorrow, depending on whether others reciprocate. You don't care so much about adapting to group or societal expectations; your independence and sharp intuition propel you on your own path.What to watch out for: When fear of conformity overrides your creativity, you can assume the role of "outsider" or "orphan" and end up feeling alienated. You may even go so far as refusing to vote or pay taxes. This lone-wolf stance might be a defense against feeling vulnerable. Try to be aware that blaming others for your banishment, or pushing away those who want to get close, only makes things worse. Also, dramatizing your emotions can interfere with your creativity.Looking ahead: As long as you genuinely express yourself, you feel like the person you were meant to be. How you do it is irrelevant. A chef or architect can be as much of an artist as a painter or sculptor. Many advertising and public relations executives are also highly imaginative. Beyond work, there are opportunities everywhere you look to coax out your inner artist: Design your own jewelry line, create an innovative blog, dream up a comic strip. Relationships are another avenue for self-expression.

Alex got his mission call

My baby brother got his mission call yesterday and he will be spending the next two years in the Chile, Santiago West mission!!! I am so thrilled for him and grateful that I was able to be part of the experience via the phone. The best part is that .........

I TOTALLY CALLED IT!!!!

I got to watch the video of him opening the call this morning and he just looked stunned and relieved to finally know. While everyone else was screaming around him he just sat on the couch smiling and staring at the paper.

Justin thinks the call is totally awesome because his Grandpa Palmer was the first mission president in Chile.

Congratulations Alex, we are going to miss you, but you will have a glorious mission! I know it!!!

what my boys are up to!

Sorry if my "kid" updates get a little old. I use my blog as a journal and I don't live near my family, and I really want to remember the details of their childhood ... sooooooo, here it goes (again)

:-)

Evan:

-Evan was in the other room snuggling with Justin. I called from the other room and asked him what he was doing. His reply ... "I'm nugging with Daddy"

-It was time for him to go to sleep and Evan says "I don't want to got to sleep, I want to go swimming with Daddy"

-While we were all getting better the last thing to happen was pretty bad gas. I went to get Evan from his nap and he says: "I tooted again. It was a BERRY big tooted!"

-We were watching mens figure skating together. I told him that the one we wanted to win was named Evan. The conversation went like this:
Me: His name is Evan like yours
Evan: Evan like me???
Me: Go Evan!
Evan: Go Evan Palmer!!!
(silly boy)

-Evan: I tooted
Me: eewww gross!
Evan: No, it's not gross! Tooting is nice.
Me: It's nice??
Evan: Yes, tooting is nice for my bum!!

-I think that my periodic dramatics might be rubbing off on Evan. I was bouncing him on my knee and he got a little nervous and says: "Stop Mama ... I will die!!"

-you know the strings at the top of pants or shorts?? Well Justin was going to the bathroom and Evan saw the string on his pants and he says: "Is that a ribbon for your penis??"



Landon

-This little boy is such a delight right now!! He does so many things that surprise me. Landon hugs. For the last month he has been full on hugging us! It melts my heart and surprises me because I do not remember Evan doing that this early. I just love his little baby squeezes around my neck.

-Landon also kisses! He will snuggle in and then open mouth kiss you over and over. Soo cute!

-I love that Landon still oozes baby smell. I don't ever want that to go away, but until then I am trying to just soak it up!!!

-When I say Landon is delightful, he really is!! He just smiles and giggles and snuggles all the time. He just wants to be with us and loves to be on top of his big brother (although Evan is not so much a fan of this. We have taught Evan to call for help instead of hitting the baby. All day I hear "Mama, help me! Landon's getting me!!") He is wonderful!

-I am moving out of Justin's bed for the next little while. We are going to start sleep training again and until he sleeps longer I will be sleeping in the basement so I can actually get some sleep. I am dreading it ... wish us luck.

Why I work out

I love to exercise, but as my friends in Florida can attest this was not always the case. Shortly after I graduated from my masters program I had a revelation that I was skinny, but not healthy. I decided that I really wanted to be healthy. I started small. First I just ate less (3 pieces of pizza instead of 5) and since I had a full size track in my backyard (literally) I would run 1 mile 3 days a week. Slowly I started eat healthier and began to up my mileage. 6 months later I didn't hate running anymore. 6 months after that I really enjoyed running.

Now I enjoy working out in a gym as well (still prefer to be outside, but I live in Canada). I exercise so that I can be healthy for Justin, Evan, and Landon. I want to be around to take care of them and that means taking care of me. I want to have enough energy to play with my kids. I want them to have a good example to look to of proper eating and exercising. Once Evan was diagnosed with SMA I had an extra incentive. I need to be strong enough to carry him around, I need to be strong enough to carry his equipment around. He may be small, but he will grow and so will his equipment.

I don't exercise to look good, but it is definitely a bonus result of working out and constant heavy lifting at home (Evan and his stuff). I can now say that I am a physically strong person, it is kind of cool!

Thank you Evan for my new back, shoulders, and arms!

Skiing Pics

Evan LOVED tubing with Daddy!
check out these LIPS!!

The resort made smores by the campfire. After a night of throwing up and a day of not eating ... Evan sure chowed down :-)

speaking of chowing down ... look at the size of that spoon



I forgot to bring down gloves for Landon so he got to wear Daddy's
Evan loved the big "tractor"

do you see how Evan is carrying around his milk?

NOW SOME PICS FROM HOME

"Look Mama, I built a castle!" Good reach Evan!
My Sweetheart and I

I went out with one of my neighbors and took her to a 50's diner. It was so fun and our boys LOVED it! Evan kept talking about his milk shake, the juke box, and "old" candy. (Old Candy is what he called all the candy they used to make in the 50's and sell in the store.

family adventures

I have to say "family" adventures because life would be a lot less adventurous without my family.

This last weekend in Alberta was a long weekend. We decided to head up to the mountains and go skiing. On the way there Evan threw up. It was so out of the blue we thought it might have just been something that he ate. We gave him some crackers and kept driving. Our 3 hour drive turned into a 5 hour adventure with Evan vomiting 12 times. (our car smelled lovely!) He didn't actually end up going to sleep until 2:30AM. We kept him in our room that night to keep an eye on him and he threw up 5 more times during the early morning hours and developed a fever. Fortunately he had stopped vomiting by waking hours on Saturday so we could just focus on the fever. He had MAJOR diarrhea for the next day and a half and seems to be completely recovered (minus some really awesome farts).

Saturday Justin went skiing in the morning and I hit the slopes in the afternoon. Justin is an incredible skier. I am not, but I really have improved! I am thankful for the lessons I have had and the opportunity I have gotten to go skiing every year since we got married. I feel happy that I am good enough to ski on my own and enjoy myself.

I will never be good enough to ski with Justin (I am afraid of going too fast, and jumping off cliffs) yet every year I try and push myself a little more. I consider myself to be a fairly calm person, but there are 3 moments in my life that I have stepped out of my body and gone ballistic! 2 of those times occurred while skiing. I full on broke down, beat up the mountain with my poles, tears fogging up my goggles and screaming at the mountain like a 2 year old throwing a major tantrum. Last year this occurred while I tried moguls for the first time. The point I am getting at is ....

I DID MOGULS!!!!!

I did them and I didn't even fall! I came close a couple of times but managed to stay upright! I was sooo proud of myself!

Thrilled with my accomplishment I couldn't wait to get back to the room so I could tell Justin.

I went to return my rentals and discovered that my boots had walked off with someone elses feet. Yup ... my boots were gone!!! Talk about going from major high to major low! Fortunately I got a call later that night from the rental office saying that the lady who took my boots realized the mistake she made and had returned them.

Sunday morning we woke up to Landon covered in vomit from head to toe in his play pen (poor baby). He kept vomiting through Sunday and Monday and is now dealing with the MAJOR diarrhea (it seeps right out of his diaper!) I woke up that night and dealt with my bout of illness (see previous posts) and felt like dying the whole next day. The problem that I felt was this

1) I needed to eat in order to subdue my menstrual cramps and to take my medicine

2) If I ate I would feel like vomiting and surely throw up my medicine

Thankfully I am doing much better and now am just dealing with lingering diarrhea and extremely ripe gas.

Justin got to ski on Monday and finished up our ski weekend with some great runs. I think Justin has gotten lucky and skipped the vomit section of the bug, though he has a fever and has been dealing with the major diarrhea and smelly flatulence.

So we are home now and our house is filled with a pretty rank stench hovering over our heads, but I think we are all going to survive. What an adventure!

(pictures to come)

it is now 5:21

just got back from throwing up 4 times

shoot me now

STEER CLEAR

It is 5:11AM and I have been awake for an hour. There is something wicked awful going through our family right now. Evan got it, Landon got it, and I woke up with it ... poor Justin he is doomed!

I woke up with extreme nausea, then got my period with extreme cramps, and as I feel like I am going to lose it from the front end at any moment, I have had to run to the bathroom 4 times with diarrhea. All of this in the last hour.

Right now I am seriously burning up, but I am really cold!!

YEAH FOR ME (sarcasm intended)

what a horrible night. I dreamt that both my babies died. I woke up in tears at 4:00am and my heart hurt felt empty. It took about 5 min. for me to even calm down. I have never had a dream like that before and I sure hope I don't ever again. Needless to say I have smothered them both just a little bit more today.

Sooo ... Evan was still taking a nap and I needed to shower. I put Landon down on the floor and he crawls over to the shower HYSTERICALLY crying. Through my whole shower (which was a max of 3 minutes) he has both of his hands on the glass door looking at me and screaming as if I was never going to hold him again. It was so sad, but I have to ask ... is it bad that I think it is really funny?

Milestones

There is a lot of big news to report today!!

1) Landon now has two teeth!!! I thought he was going to be a snaggle tooth, but all of a sudden the bottom two came out of nowhere. Once I felt those buds I knew it was going to be a race between the three teeth to see which would pop through those swollen gums first. I checked this morning and afternoon and there were no teeth. I checked this evening right before he went to bed and there were two bottom teeth! Yeah Landon!!!

2) Landon pulled up to standing today! He turned 6 months old 6 days ago and the boy crawls everywhere and pulled to standing!!! I really think that God is blessing me. Don't get me wrong, I am sad that I didn't get a "baby" baby for very long, but the sooner this little moose walks the easier my life is going to be! It just blows my mind how strong this kid is. I tell him all the time that I will be putting those muscles to good use and he can help me carry his brother around :-)

3) We finally found a food that Landon DOES NOT like!! I didn't think it was possible, but he just might be a vegetarian! We tried meat today ... definitely not successfully.

Well that is all of the BIG news. Here are some of the things Evan has been saying:

Evan-ism: "Atigako" = (alligator)
Evan-ism: "Poo water" = (water that has his laxative in it)
Today during lunch Evan shows me the inside of his wrist (where the veins show) and very excitedly says "look Mama ... a crayon!" He thought the vein looked like a crayon. He thought it was even cooler when I told him that it was called a vein and it carried his blood. Then I showed him my "crayon" :-)

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Here are some pics ... just for you Anjanie :-)

Yes I play dress up with my boys (all three of them). It is the month of February and I wanted my family to look like Valentines at church this last Sunday. I wish you could see Evan's little red tie and Landon's bow tie! (seriously too cute!) My favorite part of this picture though ...
check out my babies holding hands!!!!!!!

Please ignore the crying baby! He is crying because I left the room, but when I came back from putting Evan in the van this is what I found. My baby standing up for the first time!! You have to realize that this is a first for me. Evan never stood on his own. He could only stand when placed and only did that for a short time. In fact we only have one picture of him standing at all.

I knew those teeth were coming ANY minute and I desperately wanted some final shots of a gummy baby. My heart mourns a little when the teeth finally come in. Yesterday I took him to get his 6 month pictures and the child would NOT smile!!!!! So today during Evan's nap time we had a photo shoot where I desperately tried to get my baby to give his big gummy smile for possibly the last time on camera. No such luck. I got cute Landon (no gums) and crying Landon (with gums). Oh well ... at least I have a gummy picture.

Check out how swollen those gums are. If you look to the left side of the picture you can see the snaggle tooth that is ready to pop through anytime!

Mama love fixes anything!

(the result of our meat attempt)

THANK YOU

We got a beautiful card yesterday from an SMA reseach organization informing us that one of my good friends had made a donation in Evan's name. It brought tears to my eyes to have written proof of how much people love my family.

I have put that card in Evan's SMA file along with some other "things" that I think will help him know how much he is loved. Seeing and reading some of those other "things" caused me to sit and just ponder the donations that we are aware of and the ones that we aren't aware of, the prayers and blessings that we know about and those that we don't.

I am so grateful to all of the amazing support we have in our families near and far, and our friends.

Thank you for the strength y'all send our family.

Thank you for loving our Evan.

I am sorry if this post is super random. The combination of yucky cold weather and cabin fever doesn't exactly offer natural mind stimulation that I think I desperately need. Maybe it is just rambling ... maybe not.

I went to see my good friend yesterday. It is the first time that I have gotten to meet her new baby girl! Seriously, Macy is sooo tiny and I cannot wait until Landon is feeling a bit better to take a picture of him next to her. The size difference would just be tooo funny!

I have been thinking lately about trials. Not anything major, but that I think it is interesting how everyone is going through something. Some people are going through bigger trials than others, but everyone is dealing with something.

I am having a hard time with the winter. I feel like my kids aren't being stimulated and I have no idea what to do for fun in the winter.

I am really looking forward to seeing my sweet nephews compete in their first gymnastics competition. That will be tomorrow and if I can get my butt into gear I will post about that later.

Last night I told Justin that if Landon woke up again I would be going to sleep in the basement where I can't hear him. Since I have gotten about 3.5 hours (broken up) the 4 nights in a row before I felt I deserved a little snooze time. Sure enough he woke up and I went to sleep downstairs. It may have backfired though because Justin got up and put him to sleep with a bottle. Oh well ... at least I am a bit more rested

We just got back from "Hot Dog Day" at Daddy's office. They have "Hot Dog Day" every other Friday and I head over with the boys. It is so much fun and the boys love it!!

Well I think that is enough random thoughts for now.

It is 2:40 in the morning.

I can't believe that I have gotten this little sleep in 4 days.

I wish I was Justin and could sleep through anything.

Landon has got to be the MOST stubborn baby on the planet!!! He even falls asleep for several minutes and then wakes himself up and starts crying. If he stirs at all in the middle of the night he won't let himself fall asleep again.

I am holding my ground ... but

I AM SOOO TIRED!!!!

Thanks for letting me vent. I know it will get better. It has too or I will look like a haggard old bag lady before I am 30.

Sometimes it just isn't worth the fight

Justin has been gone since last night (skiing with his Dad) and although he is coming home tonight it is different when he is gone. Immediately after Christmas Evan was eating really well and then he got sick and now we are back to square one!! Today I just didn't feel like dealing with the arguing about food. This is what he had for his meals today ... I am just glad that I am somewhat creative.

BREAKFAST: Mac n' Cheese with a side of apple sauce

LUNCH: Mac n' Cheese with asparagus mixed in

DINNER: Mac n' Cheese with and egg cooked in broccoli and carrot puree mixed in

You know, sometimes it just isn't worth the fight.

Tonight Evan was saying: "I need a [word I have yet to decipher]" After several attempts of me trying to guess he screams at the top of his lungs "Do you hear me??? I neeeed a [word I have yet to decipher]" I sure wish I knew what he needed, but the situation makes me laugh!

:-)

p.s. sorry about my complete lack of blogging lately. You can blame my really addicting book I am reading right now. I promise I will be back soon

LOST STARTS TONIGHT

and

I CANNOT WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!